August 8, 2008

• :: each Friday I feature the love story of a Christan couple. the feedback from married and single women alike has been incredible. I think we as women (and i know even some of you men) love a good true life romance! What makes these stories unique from what the world today would like to hold up as the standard of “love,” is that the hand of God has so evidently wove together each detail. So, sit back and enjoy our 6th installment…::

  David & Jody

  
  

  My love story actually starts with a story…
  
  Sometime around January of
  2002, I was sitting in the living room with my brother, dad, and mom.
  My dad and brother worked for the same company just down the road and
  they came home for lunch every day. On this day in particular, we began
  discussing taxes, and in the middle of the discussion, my dad
  exclaimed, “Brian, have you changed your number of dependents?” In less than a second, the slip registered in the heads of mom and myself
  and both of us exclaimed at the same time “You’re having another baby!”
  Brian scowled and turned red, and poor dad apologized profusely for
  letting the secret out. When it was time for the boys to head back to
  work, mom headed out to the car with them while I cleaned up from
  lunch. As I put the dishes in the washer, my mind was a whirl of
  thoughts and emotions, and I suddenly found my excitement and
  anticipation for my brother and Tracy turn to feelings of longing,
  uncertainty, and sorrow.
  
  Mom returned and I tried to hide the tears,
  but sensing something was wrong, she came over. I turned and with tears
  in my eyes, I exclaimed “When will it be my time?” I would be turning
  28 in a few short months and found myself the last of three siblings
  still single and living at home. In the past 3 years, I had watched my
  brother and best friend marry each other, as well as many other girls
  much younger than myself marry and start families. I had always
  expected that by 28 I would be married and holding babies of my own,
  but as I neared my 28th birthday, I began to realize marriage may not
  be in the near future and possibly not in my future at all.

   

  Many of the
  hardest struggles I had faced over the past few years had been centered
  around what to do with my hopes, expectations, and dreams in the area
  of marriage. At the advise of my parents I had gotten a job at the
  hospital and had begun the process of finishing my nursing degree. The
  Lord had given me a peace in my heart concerning my single status, but
  the emotions and longings never went away completely and at times
  completely overwhelmed me, as it did the day Brian announced the
  anticipated arrival of Biddle #2.
  
  
  
  I remember hearing about the concept of courtship and embracing the
  idea of allowing God to bring the right one along in His own time. I
  decided to trust Him, but I think I had the expectation that doing so
  would get rid of all the longings and struggles the single life posed.
  The decision to wait and trust is in some ways was harder because it takes
  great faith to relinquish the role of seeker/finder as you take on the
  role of one who waits. When I dated and moved in and out of all the
  church single groups, my focus was always upon finding the next
  possibility. When I committed to wait on the Lord, my focus shifted
  from what I wanted and did not have – to what I did have, and what the
  Lord required me to do with the blessing He gave me each and every day
  because I was single. The verse that became my anchor during my early
  to late 20′s was Psalm 84:11-12
  
  
  

  The Lord your God is a sun and a shield,
  
  The Lord will give grace and glory,
  
  No good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.
  
  O Lord of Host, Blessed is the Man
  
  That trusteth thee.
  
  
  
  My daily challenge became this-
  
  Seek the Sun and appreciate the shield. The sun gives light and
  direction and it provides life and growth. Accepting God’s “not now”
  was accepting his plan of growth and purification in my life through
  the trials I faced as an older single girl. Accepting God as a shield
  was also accepting and trusting His protection of my heart and soul and
  future. As God said not now to me and my dad said no to young men, the
  years of waiting was preserving me for God’s amazing best, not the
  feeble and limited “best” I could come up with.

  His Grace and Glory. Our lives are meant to bring Glory to Him and
  no other. No matter what state we are in, single or married, as long as
  we accept His grace and carry our burden in faith, God will be
  glorified and we will be strengthened.
  
  

  No good thing. Most importantly, the Lord showed me that each and
  every day, He prepared His goodness to be showered down upon my life so much that it could be said every day, “On this day, God withheld
  nothing that I needed for happiness or success or survival!” My
  challenge was to Find. and Claim. and Treasure each blessing He gave me.
  The fullness of my basket at the end of the day depended upon eyes that
  saw with faith and hands that accepted with obedience what He gave. If
  I was distracted by the desires of the future-marriage, I would miss
  the blessings of today and find my basket empty each and every day, but
  not due to God’s failure to give, but my failure to accept.
  
  

   - – - Now, back to the story. Flash back about 6 years to the summer of
  1996. I was sitting in a hotel room with my mom and two other ladies.
  We were all on our way to the North Woods where my brother was a drill
  sergeant for unit 12. These two mothers each had a son in the unit and
  all were discussing the changes they had seen in their boys over the
  space of the eight week basic. As I sat there, I remember one mom in
  particular talking about her handsome, muscular boy, David who was very
  smart and athletic.
  
  

  

  My curiosity lasted until she mentioned his age, he
  was 5 years younger than myself and only 18 (I was in my mid 20′s). I
  don’t recall ever seeing/noticing him during the promotion and was more
  interested in seeing all the friends I had worked with the past year.
  His mom and his existence totally slipped from my memory when we left
  the North Woods and returned home, but as it happened both families
  started going to our church.
  
  Ironically, the following summer I was
  asked by Scott Cornett to help David run the VBS games. I remember my
  first impression of him was one of extreme frustration. Over and over
  again, I would walk over to him for direction and to see what I was
  supposed to do only to be met with indistinguishable mumblings. At the
  same time, I was kept busy shewing away young girls from the church who
  kept finding their way out to the game field with some excuse or the
  other so they could be within eye sight of this new guy fresh back from
  ALERT and flirt with him. Although he never batted an eye at them, I
  was sort of disgusted with him and how foolishly these young girls were
  acting over this kid who did little more than mumble and who never said
  more than 5 words to me.

  

  On the evening VBS was wrapping up, Pastor
  Scott called me over and completely bowled me over when he apologized
  for all the rumors that had been flying. Apparently it had been decided
  that David and I were an official item and a courtship was brewing, if
  not all ready happening. I burst out laughing over the absurd thought of
  this annoying “kid” and I being the source of such rumors, and assured
  Scott no offense had been taken.
  
  
  
   - – - Flash ahead a few years to the day David and another girl at our
  church announced their courtship. I remember not being surprised as the
  attraction between the two had been obvious, and I remember being happy
  for them. I also remember around this time struggling more than ever
  with being single because it was around this time that my brother had
  courted and married and it seemed every other girl in our church (all
  of whom were younger than myself) was courting and getting married as
  well! So during this time I was struggling with being content as I
  watched all these young chicks court, marry, and have babies.

  Over the
  next year or so this guy’s courtship/engagement began to unravel and in
  the beginning of 2002 his engagement was was called off and the
  relationship ended. Because of David’s friendship with my brother, I
  knew a little about his struggles and hurts during this time. I am a
  mercy and I felt badly for him and the pain he had been through. I
  greatly respected him for his maturity and how he handled the
  situation. I had seen the growth and sensitivity that had developed in
  his life through this trying relationship that did not work out. I
  remember the day I was standing with my mom as his mother quietly asked
  us to pray for him. She explained the engagement was over and he was in
  Arizona with a friend seeking the Lord and some healing…
  
   I remember
  thinking about the many men I knew who walked away from the Lord when
  their relationship with a lady fell through and I felt a burden for him
  and prayed that the Lord would protect him and bring healing in his
  heart as well as the right “young” lady into his life when it was time.
  Never for a moment did my heart awake to the possibility of
  relationship with him, in my mind I think I still saw him as an 18 year
  old kid.
  
  
  
  David will tell you he remembers sitting on the ledge of the Grand
  Canyon being overwhelmed by its beauty and grandeur. He remembers
  musing upon the fact that the God who made the landscape before him,
  was also the God that had made him. He knew this amazing God could
  take care of him and the desires of his heart. He told the Lord he
  believed he had placed the desire to be married in his heart, but that
  he was not going to go looking. He exclaimed to the Lord, that if God
  had someone for him, he would have to put her in his back yard… What is
  amazing is that the year David and the other young lady started
  courting, the Lord had pretty much placed us in his back yard!!! We moved
  into his little town and were just 5-7 minutes away from his home
  depending upon who was driving : ) At that same time, our family had
  been placed into the Shepherding group his Dad was a leader of, and I
  had begun doing chalk art and took classes with his little sister.
  
  So,
  while David was gone courting this girl and spending time with her
  family, our families got to know each other very well and became close
  friends.

  May 25th 2002. I had just worked the night shift at the hospital
  and although I was supposed to drive to my sisters house and help her
  get the kids dressed and to church, I was too exhausted and went home
  to sleep. As I sat in the kitchen eating cereal, my presence surprised
  my parents who had been unaware of my arrival while they bantered back
  and forth about something as they went about their Sunday routine. I
  was so tired I never heard a word they were saying and without any
  thought about their unusual behavior, I went to bed. When they returned
  from church I was up and they both asked me to accompany them on the
  back porch swing. I accepted the invitation, again not noticing
  anything out of the ordinary (those of you who have worked split shifts
  know how tired and out of it that kind of schedule makes one : ) The
  phone rang and my dad jumped and answered it. He stuck his head out the
  door and told us he had to go on an errand and would be back soon.

  He
  left and mom asked me to walk with her (I still have no idea how I
  stayed so clueless to the odd behavior, but I did) and soon after my
  dad returned, they once again asked me to sit on the swing. Then all of a sudden my dad exclaimed, “shall we tell her?”, he jumped up and
  returned with an Eddie Bauer bag and sat down. With a smile on his face
  he exclaimed “Jody, someone has asked if you would “Water their
  Camels”. This question is a whole other story and there is no time to
  go into it, but it comes from the story of Issac and Rebekah and it was
  a challenge my mom gave me back in 1995 concerning my single years.
  This simple statement was their way of letting me know someone wanted
  to court me.

  (some of the camel collection) : )
  

  To my surprise, it was David Watkins (At this point I had forgotten the age difference), and my Dad explained how everything had
  taken place and answered all my questions about David. My dad had
  turned down quite a number of guys, so his approval of David spoke
  volumes to me and I agreed! Our courtship began and in November 2nd
  2002, we were married. (I was 28 David was 24 : )
  

  

  

   - – - Fast forward to the following year, January 2003 where I stood
  almost a year to the exact day that I asked my mom “when will it be my
  time?” and there you find me at my parents house letting them know
  our first child was growing inside my belly and due in September!
  
    

  

  

  

  As
  was quoted on our wedding program, “This is the Lord’s doing, It is
  marvelous in our eyes!”

   

  ———————– ~

  1.How did you know this was the one for you?
  
  David and I spent about a week asking each other questions about
  our beliefs and desires for family and home to see if we were
  compatible in the nonnegotiable areas. At the weeks end, when all
  questions had been asked, and the attraction was rapidly growing, David
  asked that we both pray that the Lord would reveal anything that could
  basically put the breaks on the relationship, or even end the courtship.
  I remember not wanting to do this and resisted praying this. But
  finally gave in and did. In an amazing way I felt the Lord give me a
  peace in my heart, and His blessing to give David my heart…  and the rest
  is history.

  2.What was something I never expected in marriage?
  
  Gary Thomas puts it well in his book “Sacred Marriage” when he
  suggests God intended marriage to make me Holy more than to make me
  happy. I am blessed beyond measure, and marriage has been more
  wonderful than I ever imagined, but it has been the revealer of all
  that is terrible and ugly in my heart and soul. It has revealed
  failures and weaknesses that I didn’t even realize I had as well as
  those I was able to hide from those around me who thought me “the
  perfect picture of a godly Christian woman”. Luckily my husband
  is the most patient, easygoing, and loving man – as is Christ, and they
  love me in spite of my failures and faults. The growth is slow but
  with God’s help it is happening.

  3.Marriage is: Not about me. Marriage is Sacrifice, Marriage is
  Dying to self. Marriage is the tool God uses to make me more like him
  each and every day. Marriage is awesome!

  4.What has helped the most during your marriage? I have made it a
  habit to do one thing, REMEMBER! If we keep in the forefront of our
  mind what we have been given, how it was given, and the journey the
  Lord took us through to get it, it keeps the spark alive and leaves no
  room for discontent to move in. Any time I am frustrated at the eternal
  pile of laundry, I remind myself the laundry represents a host of
  answers to prayer and if there were no laundry there would be no David.
  When feeling flat or low, I think back to the nights alone when I
  poured my heart out to the Lord, and then recall the miraculous events
  God took David and I through to bring us together. I am in awe of
  His utter goodness and love. When I am frustrated or disappointed by
  something my husband does/doesn’t do, I choose to think back to a
  moment or action, word, or special time with him when he blessed my
  heart beyond with his thoughtfulness, loving words or actions, and that
  is where I choose and force my focus to be.

  —————— ~
   
  It was all certainly worth the wait!

  Jody ~  

  (more about this sweet family HERE)

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