May 17, 2010

• {A rough walk for wildflowers}

   
  
  I love having fresh flowers in the house as much as I can….
  and I’d seen some pretty ones growing in the field down the road from our house.
  So one night last week I thought I’d run down and pick them.
  
  I guess when I had driven past them all those times I was too fixated on their prettiness to notice the wide patch of tall grass, weeds, and briars that separated them from the road! Had I realized I would have worn my tall grass, weeds, and briar stomping attire. Instead I was in my comfy pregnant attire – baggy sundress and flipflops. I assessed the situation for a second…. wishing for some kind of super hero pole vaulting powers. But since none seemed to instantly strike me, I decided to go at it the old fashioned way.
   
  At first I took slow deliberate steps.
  Then, a few small bursts of something kinda like a run..
  but more like a hop. skip. and a jump.
  
  About halfway through I stopped. 
  Looking around for some easier path… 
  I just didn’t realize how gnarly and tangly and hard to maneuver this would be!
  My legs were scratched to my knee caps from the thorns. Bleeding in a few spots and burning.
  But worst of all,  those little prickly plants that grow close to the ground are nas-ty to step on!
  Atleast in flip flops, which is basically barefoot. and just for the record -I hate em.
  Prickly plants that is. Not flip flops.  
  
  I stood there for several minutes.
  Waiting…. on what, I don’t know.
  Wondering… was it worth it.
  Wanting… to turn back.
  
  I kinda even got tickled at myself for being such a wimp.
  I mean come on! I was raised with four brothers, given birth to three children, and survived the coldest winter in Canadian history…
  I can do this!
  
  But truth was, every step was just a little too uncomfortable for me. It hurt. I felt pain!
  And in case there was any confusion before – I am not a huge fan of pain!
  I kinda sorta like and want easy.
  
  Standing there.
  Just still.
  Looking around me at the mess of tough stuff I was trying to walk through…
  I couldn’t help but to think of how many times life felt very much like this~

  Before you can “get to the beauty” you have to be willing to go through the suffering.

   

    
  
  Later, on my way home… back on the smooth pavement of the road! {emphasis on smooth} I looked down at the marks on my legs. To see them only would tell me going the path I did was pointless and held no purpose. But looking up further, at that bouquet of wildflowers in my hand – their beauty helped overshadow the ugliness.

  … I want to say too that I know there are those times when though you can see the “beauty.” Recognize the good – because anything no matter how painful, if it draws us closer to Christ is good. But, that doesn’t mean you’re wanting to do cartwheels through the briar patch. It doesn’t diminish the sting each step can seem to bring. And I don’t think anyone is ever rubbing their hands together in excitement like, “Oh goody. I get to suffer for Jesus!” We often can’t appreciate the beauty, or even see it until long after the hurting has subsided.

  Still, it’s there. Or will be.
  God gives beauty for ashes..
  when we bring our ashes to Him.
  
  There is all kinds of suffering. On many different scales and for many different reasons.
  
  But no matter how big. small. insignificant. or life shattering it is… suffering alone does not produce beauty.
  It is not the hard stuff that transforms us… it is only in our response. 

  

  
  
  “We all know people who have been made much meaner and more irritable and more intolerable to live with by suffering: it is not right to say that all suffering perfects. It only perfects one type of person …… the one who accepts the call of God in Christ Jesus.” –Oswald Chambers

   
   = = ~ = =
  
  Some random shots from the backyard last week…

    

  We laid outside one afternoon on blankets…
  reading.
  painting nails.
  making flower chains.
  drinking sweet tea.
  and listening to Andrea Bocelli sing while we watched the clouds blow by.
  
  

  

  
  
  
    
  “Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.” ~ Hans Christian Anderson

     

    
  
  The girls and I stayed for hours.
  Ben eventually went off to play…
  with his two faithful shadows following close behind.

  

  Jack ~                                                          Cooper ~
  
  
   

  “Do I like smiles? Yes. But only if they are real and filled with life. I also like tears.
  You see truth is beautiful no matter what the expression.” ~ R. Bacon

  
  
  
  
  = = ~ = =    
  
  And for those of you wondering when I’d look “fat” with this baby, well here ya go!

  
  
  It’s actually been there awhile, but certain style clothes hide it well.
  Not that I want to hide it…
  Gee. It took me three years to get pregnant for crying out loud- I should be wearing midriff shirts!!!
  
  So, I don’t mind “baby fat” for one second…..
  Well, except for that second when I’m standing next to someone who looks like they could hula hoop with a Cheerio!
  
  But for the most part I’m taking it all in and lovin it.

  

  We find out TOMORROW whether Hutchbaby is a he or she!!

  Yes. I’m a peeker.

  A friend of mine asked recently, “don’t you want something to look forward to in the delivery room?”
  Something to look forward to?
  Listen… after labor I don’t care if they put a monkey in my arms!!  I’m just so relieved it’s over.

  
   
  
  I’m pretty excited.
  I have a feeling what it is.
  I was right with each of the others..
  
  so, we’ll see.

  ¸.·´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
  (¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`♥ amber.
   
  

  • 9:24 pm
  • 54 Comments