August 14, 2008

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  I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately…

   

  
  

  What is the essence of true beauty in a woman?

   

  
  

  We are certainly bombarded with images of beauty all around ~ or the image of what we are SUPPOSED to accept as true beauty…

   

  Living in our society it’s hard at times to know the balance of embracing our femininity – looking attractive… liking attractive things… wanting to be perceived as attractive. ..Yet, not allowing ourselves to be consumed with the shallowness and superficiality that often goes hand and hand with these things.

  
  

  I think all of us in our hearts want to be looked upon as lovely ~ we would never verbalize that and say we do. But WE DO. : ) it is part of our make up as women… there’s no escaping it.

   

  Just as a men will always be a bit wild at heart – there’s no taming him.. it’s the warrior in him – as God created him to be.

   

  So, we as women will always long for beauty in our lives – there’s no getting away from it. It’s the hidden princess in us – as God created us to be.
  

  
  

  
  

  I think there’s a false mindset that probably a lot of us have encountered in our circles that to be a woman after God’s heart you cannot be concerned with outward appearance. To act like you don’t care what your hair looks like. If your clothes match, or if your mascara is smeared is considered more Proverbs 31-ish.

   

  Yet have you ever read that passage carefully?? I don’t think the Proverbs 31 woman was running around in her sweats with her hair in a scrunchy!  and nothing wrong w/ sweats and a scrunchy.. it’s actually my daily attire!!

   

  But to think someone is “worldly” because they want to look attractive is often a wrong assessment… now I know we can get into all the motives of WHY we as women want to look a certain way. Modesty. Dressing like the world etc. But Christians will be hashing that one out until the desert ices over…

   

  But just thinking here about this whole idea of beauty… what it truly is and more importantly, what it is NOT – is really my focus. Having a little girl on the brink of turning 11… talking to her more and more about becoming a young woman… has really made me stop and evaluate what it is exactly I want to convey to her…

   

  Of course I realize, far too acutely, that most of what she will learn will be more caught than taught… probably the real reason why I’m examining my own life in this area more carefully.
  

  
  

  Beauty to me goes beyond just our own personal outward appearance.. it encompasses everything about us. Our talents. Our gifts. Our desires. Our creativity. Our homes. Our families.

   

  Why do we love to sit and work hours on making pretty scrapbooks. Why do we put pillows (and if you’re like me – tons and tons) in places where they just end up on the floor the majority of the time.. our beds and couches! Why do we set the table just so. Dress our kids up like dolls. And fix our husbands hair!?!?

   

  God created us in our femininity to Like. Desire. Be drawn to. And need beauty…

   

  Yet, with all this comes the eternal battle of seeking security in what we do – rather than who we are! Constantly struggling with that nagging sense of not “measuring up.” You know what I’m talking about…

   

  I am not enough, and, I am too much all at the same time. Not thin enough. Pretty enough. Gracious enough. Smart enough. Creative enough. Thrifty enough. Disciplined enough. But -  too needy. Too emotional. Too sensitive. Too opinionated. Too messy. Too independent. (and we wonder why men can’t figure us out!)

   

  We make ourselves think if we were better women – whatever that means – life wouldn’t be so hard. If we were all the things we’re not enough of – or not all the things we think we’re too much of (something  like that) : ) perhaps we would struggle less!!

  We live our days feeling unimportant. Unseen. And unlovely… having no idea what it means to truly embrace our femininity. To be who God created us to be. And understand the true essence of beauty He calls us to….

  

   Shayne gave me a book at Christmas. “Captivating – Unveiling the mystery of a woman’s heart” by Staci Eldredge. It’s a beautiful book.. no, I mean literally – not figurativly. … it’s this lovely green color. Hard bound. With pretty calligraphy writing on the front, and jagged edge pages that stick out the side like a classic looking antique novel…

   

  It has sat on my nightstand for months – being just that. A beautiful book~

   

  I picked it up recently and began reading … what I found were some of the very things I had been wrestling with. Seeking answers to. Issues in my heart that I had not even been aware were issues – -
  

  
  

  And since I’m so bad at condensing things. : ) I thought I’d put in some excerpts for you to read for yourself… it might be a long read – what’s new? All my posts are long! That’s why I try to stick in lots of pictures to break up the monotony… the shots in this post are of my pretty hydrangeas – (my favorite flower, by the way)
  

  
  

   

  If you don’t have time to read it now, print it out. I often do that with long posts… and read them at leisure later, when I get the chance – - and usually when all is QUIET. : )

  
  

   

  ———— ~ Excerpt from “Captivating”::

   

  Beauty flows from a heart at rest –
  

  “Janet is twenty – one. She was on the dance team in high school. Small and petite with a fabulous figure. She runs between five and ten miles a day. She watches what she eats. She’s able to wear the cutest clothes. And yet.. when you’re with her, your heart does not rest. Her beauty impresses, but it does not invite.

   

  The reason is simple: she is striving. She is a perfectionist (an extra 2 pounds is a crisis; a pimple is a disaster). Her beauty feels tenuous. Shaky. It is not flowing from her heart. It’s almost as if it’s forced, from the outside, through discipline and fear.

   

  Now take June – her hair was long, swept up loosely and held by decorative combs. She wore unique, dangly earrings and pretty flowing skirts. Her eyes sparkled when she laughed, which she did often, and her smile lit the room. She was clearly in love with her husband, her face adoring as she gazed at him.

   

  June was at rest with herself, at home in who she was. Talking with her, just being with her, made me feel more at rest with myself as well. Her spacious, beautiful soul invited others to come, to be, to taste and see that Lord is good, whatever was happening in your life. She was gloriously alive and in love, both with her husband and with the God of the universe.

   

  And June was about seventy – five years old!

   

  What is the difference between these two women? One word…

  
  

   

  Rest.

   

  
  

  June’s beauty flows from a heart at rest.
  

  
  

   

  You see beauty indwells every woman… the choice a woman makes is not to conjure beauty, but to let her defenses down. To choose to set aside her normal means of survival (I had “Lipstick Jungle” come to mind here) and just let her heart show up. Beauty comes with it.”

  
  

   

   = =  = And going to the verse in 1 Peter that talks about our beauty not coming from outward adornment… the chapter goes on to say ~

  
  

  “Peter doesn’t mean that beautiful women rarely speak above a whisper, if they speak at all. No. To have a gentle and quiet spirit is to have a heart of faith, a heart that trusts in God, a spirit that has been quieted by His love and filled with His peace. Not a heart that is striving or restless.

   

  A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy or enough. She knows in her quiet center where God dwells that He finds her beautiful, has deemed her worthy, and in Him, she is enough.  (no ! point, but felt it needed one).
  

  In fact, the only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our striving.
  

  
  

  
  

  “He will quiet you with His love” (Zeph. 3:17). A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest, trusting God because she has come to know Him to be worthy of her trust. She exudes a sense of calm, a sense of rest, and invites those around her to rest as well. She speaks comfort, she knows that we live in a world at war, that we have a vicious enemy, and our journey is through a broken world. But she also knows that because of God all is well, that all will be well.

   

  A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become.”
  

  (i like that last sentence!)

  
  

   = = = After reading this chapter I had to stop and ask myself if this was the type of spirit. The type of beauty I was conveying to those around me… I’m sad to say I heard a very convicting “no” echo in my heart.

   

  But … and here I stop and sigh – and feel a slight smile coming over my face – God is faithful. He is full of grace. And He changes us!! Amen that He does…

   

  Every woman possesses a captivating beauty. Every woman! But for most of us it has been buried – - by wounds. By lies. By false ideas of beauty. It takes time for it to emerge into wholeness. It needs to be cultivated, restored, set free!!

   

  And how do we cultivate beauty? How do we become ever more beautiful? By tending to our hearts with great care…
  

  
  

   

  This is why we must keep asking. Asking Jesus to show us our hearts… Asking Him what He thinks of us as a woman. His words will bring rest and enable us to unveil the true beauty He’s places within us~

   

  “In returning and rest shall you be saved (rescued. victorious. free.safe): in quietness and in confidence shall be your strength…” Isa 30:15

   

  The more His we become, the more ourselves we become – more our true selves.

   

   

  ———————– ~

   

  i’ll be away from xanga for awhile… but hope to still keep up on subs.
  

  
  

  I know it sounds canned, or even corny at times, but I truly am grateful for you women (women of true beauty) I believe that the Lord has brought into my life… I’ve learned much from you – and I say that in all sincerity!

  
  

   

  When I saw this picture of I thought of how lovely it would be to sit down with each one of you for a nice long heart to heart – - face to face!! Well.. we’d have to move the flowers so we could see each others face first ! : )

  

  sweet blessings to you…

   

  ~Amber.

   

  • 2:33 am
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