February 13, 2010

• {Another Birth Day}

  All is quiet.

  Except the ice creaking and popping outside as the wind swirls around the house, whistling at the windows.
  Every now and then from where I’m sitting I can feel a cold little gust that’s made it’s way in.
  One of the joys of old farmhouses – good ventilation.

  The sun came out today for just a peek. Such a welcome sight to see.
  It made the trees look lit from within in their crystalized covering…
  transforming ordinary landscape into a Narnia wonderland. 

  And now I’m sitting here soaking in the peace of the night,
  and the coziness of a warm home in my pj’s with a quilt over my lap…
  I’m thinking about my birthday tomorrow {which is probably already today}
  and another birth day that’s coming.

   

  My mom tells me 36 years ago that I was born late at night…
  so close to Valentines day that the doctor told her if she’d just wait a
  little longer she’d have a true sweetheart.
  She says she looked up at him exhausted after 18 hours of labor and said,
  “My baby will be sweet enough, thank you.”

  Sometimes I do feel as if I were born on Valentines,
  the way my birthday runs right up into it.
  Heart shaped candies and themed things are always gifts, which is fun.
  What better day to be almost born on than the day when the world is celebrating love.

  I really can’t believe another year has past.
  I was remembering my birthday last year, and it feels as if it just happened…
  It was as cold, though not all the snow we have now.
  I drug Shayne from one vintage clothes shop to another in this quaint old town,
  and later tried on tons of dresses way out of my price range at Anthropologie.
  I remember my hair was cut to my shoulders, and I wore it curly.
  The kids had left little happy birthday notes all over the house for me to find.

  They started early this year, and I’ve been collecting several a day for a week.
  I noticed the improvement of their penmanship from last year…
  and as I stare at the neatly printed misspelled words I can’t help but feel
  a bit melancholic as I realize, I’m not the only one getting older round here.

    

  I remember when my grandma turned 80 I asked her what it felt like…
  I’ll never forget her quick answer -
  “The same as it did when I turned 20.”
  She went on to say that of course the hourglass figure wasn’t what it once was,
  all the sand had seemed to shift to the bottom.
  And every now and then you surprise yourself by the reflection in the mirror and ask,
  “Who is that?”
  But all in all you’re the same person you ever were.

  I’ve thought of her words alot. Or more, her spirit.
  The way she’s handled life with such grace. Accepting and content..
  My mom is the same.
  I’ve had good role models and want to follow the pattern they’ve set.

  I feel now. More than ever, like my heart is settled.
  A peace about the past.
  A calm about the future.

   

  My life certainly hasn’t taken the path I had once thought…
  imagining 10 years ago where I’d be now, I probably wouldn’t have guessed still here~
  But in it all I see God’s hand. Really. Even in the ugly parts.. the parts I thought I hated when I was in them…
  now I look back and just kinda smile. Not really a excited, “oh, let’s go do that again” kind of smile~
  but a smile that says it’s okay. I embrace it all. It’s part of who I am. Of my story…
  Every detail has been filtered through His unconditional, eternal love.  

  and what a thought is that.

   = = ~ = =

  I’m not sure when we’ll get around to celebrating this new year of my life…
  Ben has three basketball games today in different parts of the city.

  But I don’t mind.

  I already got the best present ever.

  Early Friday morning…

  It was a strong, vibrant swoosh swoosh noise that was music to my ears.
  And a teeny tiny black form up on a screen on the wall in a dark room. 

  Though I’ll have to wait another 7 months to open this little gift~

  that’s a BIRTH  DAY I certainly can’t wait to have!

   

  amber.  

  • 12:55 am
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