August 2, 2010
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{two bad things in one day}
We attended a beautiful, idealistic wedding on Saturday..
the bride was an absolute vision – straight from a Jane Austen novel.
I smiled as I listened to her beamingly, with eyes wide in sincerity and enthusiasm recite her vows.
Promising to follow her husband each day in “joyful obedience.”
Afterwards some girlfriends and I were joking that we certainly don’t remember THAT part in our vows….
or atleast we couldn’t recall the word joyful {?} anywhere in there!! *wink******
Before we were even married I remember going into Wal-Mart with Shayne…
so enamored and giddy over picking out a set of our very own, super shiny, ultra sleek…
hair cutting clipper things!
Because we were going to save money! Or atleast my husband wanted us to {try to} save money!
In those early months of our relationship and marriage it seemed so fun to play the part of a Great Clips stylist every few weeks or so.
After 14 years, and a few other heads to cut since, I’ve {long} lost any hidden fascination or inkling of a desire to be anything remotely close to a hairstylist of any sort! Even one that simply COMBS hair!
As we’re now in that stage with a certain someone of wanting our naturally curly/ course hair blow dried and straightened! Seriously? I just realized the other day I need to introduce her to a new thing called, Mousse! Then.. some slight convincing that waves are in. Actually, I don’t think she cares a bit what’s in or not – or that she even knows – or if I do for that matter now that I’m typing all this – she just doesn’t like “FUZZ!” I know. I get it too…
Mousse. blow dryers. and fuzz are one thing…. cutting hair? Ugg - I.just.don’t.like.doing.it.
But after a few attempts at my husband cutting his own.. which he thought wasn’t so bad.
That was of course because he couldn’t see the parts on the side he scalped!
And Ben’s hair not having been cut since…
actually, I can’t remember since when!
And beginning to hang in his eyes and resemble something like this ~
I knew it was time to get back out our very own, super shiny, ultra sleek {that’s been replaced a time or two at wal-mart} hair cutting clipper set things!
I have to admit I’m a bit attached to Ben’s hair longer. He just seems more like my little boy with his long shaggy hair… When it’s cut there’s suddenly this nearly 12 year old staring back at me that takes me surprise sometime and I want to know who he is and what he’s done with my Ben?
After I was finished and trying not to act overly mushy about how much more grown up he looks with shorter hair, Ben said…
“Ya know, I really hate getting my hair cut cause that means I have to do TWO bad things in one day – a hair cut AND a shower!”
Now I promise he does take a shower more often than his mom cuts his hair!!
Though I can’t always promise it’s with soap, as I had to recently remind him water doesn’t necessarily get the dirt off.
I smiled at what he said and heard my heart breath a sigh of relief at the assurance that looks are for sure deceiving –
still underneath that more manly cut is my boy!
But as he walked inside to go to the dreaded shower my mind skipped around a bit…
from the day before – that sweet innocent radiant bride – to 10, er.. maybe 20 years from now.
Picturing what sort of bride God has planned for Ben~
And I admit I had to wonder if her “joyfully obedient” part would be including hair cuts too!!!!
*****
VBS started today for the kids~ and they’re so excited!
Leaving early this morning and me feeling sad to not be going along.
We always have a super cool one at our church planned by this sweet girl… who I’ve known since 4th grade.
Fun to have friends that have come the whole way up with you, so to speak!Better get to bed now.
Though this other “masterpiece” inside me doesn’t give me much rest at night.
I think 3rd trimester = sleepless nights!
Guess maybe it’s your body’s way of getting you ready for all the ones about to come…Welp. sleep or no.. time to go get on the old rotisserie and turn like a chicken! {as my friend Emily puts it}
Hope everyone has a great non-harried week.
¸.·´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`♥ amber
p.s. – yeah.. along with showers, shirts are scarce round here. for Ben that is!
Comments (40)
I have often wondered who the Lord would bring into the lives of our children. I have envisioned who their families would be, what they would do for a living..what they would look like. I love the way that Lee and Jenna are with one another…so precious….they LOVE being together….laugh together….”have their moments”….and they are so good with one another. I think my ideals have come to one simple thing…that they draw one another closer to the Cross. If they truly bring each other to a place of worship and longing for the Savior. I love it when I see the deep humility of a couple that loves the Lord and their care for others and for one another pours out from them in their speech, their heart, their kindness….THAT is the kind of lover I want for each one of my kids. Someone who truly and fervently LOVES the lover of their soul.
He does look way more grown up! Funny, how I just got a text telling me that my 5 yr. old grandson is so proud of himself b’cuz he just showered ALL by HIMSELF! I should ask if he used soap! My 16 yr. old recently got chewed out (by me) for not washing his hair WITH SHAMPOO! These boys, I tell ya. ( 8
Your Ben looks so, so much like yound your brothers! Wow!
I had to chuckle at your comments about the idealism you felt 14 years ago. Just tonight Kent and I watched the final episode of this years Bachelorette. We both chuckled at Alli gloating about how PERFECT Roberto is…..
how she’s ALWAYS wanted someone to love her unconditionally, and that’s what she’s found in him.
OH yah….
months into their relationship.
And pray tell me, just HOW exactly has he had the chance to do THAT?!?!
Try adding a few ornery kiddos into the mix, lack of finances, other stressers, and THEN you can tell me about uncontional! Oh yah.
I don’t like mousse much – I prefer the product from “Tousle Me Softly” that is like a pommade – in a plastic jar. Even gently blow drying doesn’t cause fuzziness!
I admit as I was scrolling down your pics, I was still taken aback at how different Ben looks with the haircut, even though you prepared us for it!! I remember thinking those same thoughts when Bo was Ben’s age. I also remember his dread of the shower! We used to “bet” him he couldn’t shower in such & such seconds (and get completely clean, including hair washed), and it became a game with him. It was no time at all before he was taking longer in the shower than us girls!! Oh, how I loved watching my kiddoes growing up!
that last line is suppose to say ‘unconditional’, but it won’t let me edit.
I like the longer hair too…on our son. But, summer time and easy does it for coming them = short buz cut! Ben looks great w/ his haircut! Your children are all just gorgeous!
O girlfriend do I know about third trimester and “sleepless nights”….and lol – the rotisserie. It’s really not that funny when you have to change positions so many times in the night….but, I never thought of “rotisserie” before. Pretty good description though!!
I’ve been thinking about you and your bed-rest, and then I feel guilty for complaining and whining about my discomfort and blah, blah, blah in my last week! Praying God will give you grace to rest in Him! It will be worth it all….!! =)
{{Hugs}}, goodnight….and let me go get on my rotisserie now too!!! sweet dreams………
@totallycherished -
agh!!! our tv isn’t working and i was going to watch bachelorette on hulu tomorrow!! but now i won’t need to since i know who she picked…
KIDDING!!!
love your new profile shot – so pretty!
woops! didn’t mean to ruin the surprise for you! but we kind of knew anyway, right? I could just kind of tell. Chris seemed like such a nice guy, just too much of a country boy for her, I think. I don’t know….Roberto’s a charmer. Can’t always trust that kind.
Love ya!!
I have done the straight hair/curly hair thing for years now. I have super super curly hair. My old black hair dresser used to say to me that I was just a “white girl with sista hair”. I am back in the straightening stage again. Curly hair just takes so much work!
Your kids are adorable, btw. Reading your blog made me just want to go in and snatch my baby girl up out of her crib and just hold on to her forever. I hate that I can’t control how fast or how slow she grows up. I just want her to stay like this forever! *sigh*
Oh can I ever relate to your sentiments on cutting hair! I started out the same way, thinking how fun it was, but now… let’s just say sometimes Josh does it himself and asks me to put the finishing touches on it and the littler ones end up looking like little girls before I cut it. I don’t like doing it because it’s just not one of my favorite things to do, but also because it does totally age them right before your eyes! You start with a little boy and end up with a little man…
I just read this thing today about an older couple saying that they pretty much knew that their daughter brought home “THE guy” as soon as they saw him because they had been praying for him all those years. I honestly haven’t thought about praying for my kids’ spouses yet, I’m still so busy praying for them and that I’m doing ok raising them… Something to think about doing though, I guess. At this rate, it will be right around the corner.
Hope you get some sleep!
Girl, you just crack me up. I was picturing you saying that in person to me and I could just see the whole eye rolling thing going on…. AND i t.o.t.a.l.l.y.understandit.
LOVE it.
I wonder how many times i’ve said to myself when hearing new brides fussing about something…. “YOU JUST WAIT….” And sometimes it makes me feel OLD. Like i’ve been married forever… i guess that’s ok. The main thing is that I’ve learned/ing what reality is?????????????? And that given time that bride too will see things differently.
I know you know, but just for those of you others who don’t know me and think i’m a bit strange, I lOVE my man and LOVE being married. period.
Love Bens new look and you are right, it makes him look like a man instead of that 12 yr. old. yikes yikes yikes.
Keeping you and your “masterpiece” in my heart… and wishing you a very happy day.
Haha, that is so funny _ “A haircut AND a shower”. I looked at Alex the other day and asked “When was the last time you took a shower?” His answer, “Ummmmm”. Not a good way to start an answer!!! The boys tend to slip through the cracks when it comes to taking showers, and the longer they go without one, the better in their minds! Why is this? I actually have a shower schedule hanging on the linen closet door! (No one like to follow it though, unless they’re told.)
Well, I do NOT do haircuts around here. Jeff is the barber in our family, and I send him away for his. I am a very, very bad hair-cutter! I tried my brother’s hair, and he had little bald spots. Next I gave my sister a 6 inch trim…..my mom was NOT happy to say the least. Jeff once convinced me that I could trim up his sides……a few minutes into my “try” we called up our neighbor to come over and fix his hair. =/
It seems all the other moms I know cut their own kids hair! I get the bad award in motherhood for this one!
Hope you and that baby are doing well! Have a good week Amber. =)
Add me to your don’t-like-cutting-hair fan club. I keep saying when I’m rich and famous it’s one of the first things I’ll pay someone else to do. I’ll even keep cooking every night if it means I don’t have to cut hair.
Ben looks adorable (oh, shoot, I forgot that makes boys mad … he looks very handsome) with both short hair and long hair. But you’re right that short hair makes him look much more grown-up!
Oh and who in the world would dare to put the words “joyful obedience” into marriage vows? It better wouldn’t have been in ours cause I wasn’t planning on breaking them.
I’m reading Laura Ingalls to Adam right now and when Almanzo proposed to her she asked him if he’s going to ask her to obey him. He said, no and she was so relieved she decided she could marry him. And when they actually went to do their vows he’d checked with the preacher to make sure he doesn’t say that. 
Hope you’re having a happy Tuesday!
I remember clippers and haircuts. Glad I don’t have to do that anymore.
I love the clipper thingy. I’m scared to cut anyone but Jake’s hair. He’s my little guinea pig.
Hope VBS is good. Mine are about to start school! :0
“joyful obedience”…they were asking for some serious eye rolling from their guests! Aim high though, right?! LOL
Have a great week.
Yes, it is ”interesting” to see the glistening love blurred vision of “young love”. =) And I almost cringe sometimes….Seems like if the devil hears you making those promises, he’s going to work extra hard to get you to break them too. But still there’s an attraction to seeing that young love, wishing it could stay that way….=) But guess some of the knocks in the road have made our love grow deeper.
About haircuts, yes, I can so relate. I started out with the “saving money” thing too, and then God gave me three more heads to add to it. =) Although it is a “chore” at times, I sorta enjoy doing hair, even contemplated going to school for it, which I doubt I will, but anyway. Looks great Ben! Your mom did a good job!
Great story about clippers and styling hair….my wife has done my hair for nearly all of our 33 years of marriage, she likes doing it and I do too. I do like my hair shorter in summer and don’t mind it longer in the winter….great pics of your kids!
Your son does look handsomely older. Nice post. Take care.
haha. i tried the home hair thing w/ my husband one time. I used to cut my brother’s rabbit fur on a regular basis. but my husband? Each and every hair has a special purpose and meaning in life, and if just one of them is cut wrong, it will destroy the whole haircut. So until he is completely bald, I will leave it to the professionals. That one hair cut was enough stress to convince me 20 a month is not worth it.
and that parting phrase? the rotisserie/chicken referance?? that brought back enough pg memories to put our future kid having off for oh, another year or so…..
It’s funny how different 12 year old boys are compared to girls (well, at least the 12 year old girl in our house.) The words heard around here are, “You’re taking ANOTHER shower?” and “You’ve been in there for 20 minutes already and you’ve only washed your hair so far?”
I just recently found your blog and I love it! You are an amazing writer. You have an award to pick up on my blog (if you would like it). My favorite part about the award is reading the things that other bloggers share about themselves. At any rate, it is nice to “meet” you! I plan to visit here often.
gotta love those 12 year old boys. yeah. i remember many times…wondering outloud { a wet dog odor wafting } if they had used soap when they showered and hearing these words. “soap? oh. i forgot.” now i have a no longer 12 year old boy…who wants to shower sometimes twice a day, hogs all the hot water and uses all hair and hygiene products excessively.
( i also remember someone proudly exclaiming how they were multi-tasking…”i brushed my teeth and peed at the same time.”)
i love your Ben’s haircut. he looks mighty f.i.n.e. and sounds so very normal. we have all the saving $$$ haircutting equipment. we use the flowbee ( love it. anything that hooks up to a vacuum that you stick on someone’s head is fun. let me tell ya. ) and a hairclipper thingy. NO ONE in this family wants me to touch their hair. The Farmer doesn’t like fixing haircuts that His Wife started. So I DO KNOW about joyful obedience…ahem…
love ya girl.
haha, wouldn’t you know, I cut Shelton’s hair just this morning – yep, hard for me to cut that boys hair, because it’s way more beautiful than any girls I know. But football coach demanded the long white curls go… he loves playing w/ his hair though – styling it, and all so he was sad about the hair cut too. We threw the hair to the birds and moved on. Wow, to joyfully obey and vow it too – to think God keeps us to our vows ya know? which is good, but man . . .
Been off the net for a while maybe I’ll get to catch up w/ some folks this week if I get a chance… have a good one!
lol on the shower hair thing……
oh and I am still pondering your spandex in relationships post loving the visual
Oh and with the new format my pictures aren’t working is there something I am not doing? Maybe this would be better in a message?
okay have a GREAATTTTTTTTTT day
love ya,
cara
I’m completely encouraged about the whole shower/soap thing. I have to remind my 10 year old to use soap and/or wash his hair when he takes a shower. It’s good to know I’m not alone and haven’t just failed completely at teaching him hygiene. HA!
I don’t know if I’m capable of achieving “joyful obedience”. Obedience, maybe, with lots of hard work and attitude adjusting I might could do that one day, but joyful too? This is one of those times where I just know my personal limits, and that’s far outside of my limits. (lol)
I can trim the boys hair, but it’s a little “iffy”. Let’s also not mention the 3rd or 4th trim I gave Alex when he was under 2 years old and I cut his ear. . . .or that stitches were involved . . . .
Oh how precious are the heads of our children, the hearts of our children and oh how fast they grow…This was a very emotional post for me today as I also have a Ben!!! He called last night from the air force base he is stationed at and sad, “Mom, I’m deploying to Pakistan in the next few days, it’s okay mom, I’ll be okay”. I’m sitting here remembering all the haircuts and trying to convince him to sit just long enough for me to cut it “just a bit”. Now, he shaves it off himself. I do so miss his precious face without his beautiful hair….Each day that passes in our lives our vision gets clearer and clearer of the things that should matter most in this previous life we are given…I love the way you share so honestly from your heart, just want to encourage that kind of transparency in front of your children with a good mix of Jesus in there will make them tender, compassionate, wise people as they grow!!! They need to see real and they need to see Jesus in the midst of the real…Bless you as you await this new precious life!!!
Sandy B
Oops, lest anyone get the wrong idea I do not believe in “previous” lives, I meant to type precious….:)
Had to laugh at the hair cut story! My hair cutting days are coming for Hudson! I’m pushing them off just for alil while yet. I’m waiting for the little old lady at Walmart to come up and call him a girl , then I know it’s time!
Just treasuring the curls!! 
I know what you mean about seeing that beaming bride and thinking “What the heck do you know about it all?” But I think God gives us that season of wonder and joy and new-ness as a gift because you never really go back to that again. Yeah, like Gloria said about Ali and Roberto…gush, gush, gush. I’m like “Hey, let me hear from you in a year or two.” But I think they actually might make it. More than some other couples that came out of that show.
Jeremy is the hair cutter person around here. And I’ll be glad to leave that to him! I’m too afraid I’d do terrible damage if I tried.
Great hearing what’s going on in your life…always love to “catch up.”
Wavy/Curly hair is in!!!!
My daughter, though much older, has the same type of hair your daughter has. She too hates “fuzz”! Pantene now has a new shampoo Frizz to smooth (or something like that) for medium to thick hair. She uses that and loves it! They also have a gel for the same thing. After her shower she puts a tiny bit of the gel in and blows it dry……no more “fuzz”! Thought I would share incase she might be interested!
I found your blog from Shanda’s. I have followed her blog for a long while and just started blogging again for fun. Your blog always speaks to my heart and I am blown away when I look at your photos. You are blessed and have such a beautiful family. God bless!
Ahhh, I love it Amber… He looks so handsome!! I was just telling my Ben today that he’s starting to look like a Chia Pet ®.
The boys always do the same thing when I tell them they need a haircut. They grab their head and say, “NOOOOO!”
And then I don’t do it for awhile. ~ only cuz I’m lazy though.
had to laugh at your rotisserie joke
Before long you’ll be done though and the buzzer will go off 
(pun intended 
Keep hanging in there
@redladybug18 -
haha.. great pun! =)
Haven’t been around much (really busy) but wanted to tell you Ben had more hair than me. Even short, it’s much thicker than mine. Something about that just doesn’t seem fair, does it? LOL!!!!!!!!
Chuckling at your haircutting memories. It reminds me that when I married dh, we did have one barely-reconcilable difference. He came from a family where his mom or sisters cut his hair. I came from a family where men went to barbershops and reappeared an hour later with fresh haircuts. He expected that I would cut his hair. I expected no such thing. For awhile, we begged his sisters to carry on the family tradition (evidently his going to a barbershop was simply out of the question) but eventually he won me over and I took my first tentative snips with the barber shears. It was scary, and I never felt that I did it well, so I always put it off as long as possible. After a few years of that, we discovered something that benefited our marriage greatly: the Flowbee. A marvelous invention, that.
Now he cuts his hair himself, either with clippers or Flowbee, depending on the season or his whim, and I never have to do anything but maybe an occasional touch-up around the ears. Definitely a blessing, yes.
THinking of you!!
I miss you, babe! Love the pics. Thanks for the text the other day! You made me smile.
@sandy brandow -
your comment was so touching.. i love hearing from moms further down the path and having them share their experience! always so much encouragement & inspiration found there.
and stopping even now to pray for your Ben as he heads out to Pakistan! so grateful for guys like him & their sacrifice for the freedoms of this country!!
many blessings to you and your family!
love, amber