April 13, 2010

• {That’s what faith is like}

  Several of you have asked how I’m doing with baby…

  I’m actually feeling pretty good these days.
  Finally past all the yucky first trimester junk,
  heading into my 5th month…
  and hitting the, “I don’t even really feel pregnant until I decide to wear something without an elastic waist band” stage.

    

  The only bad thing right now is that this baby seems to have decided to permanently camp out on my bladder~
  apparently being half Indian or something and liking to engage in a obvious war dance of sorts…
  especially between midnight and 6 a.m.
  Causing this sleepy squaw to be up every hour on the hour pretty much.

   

  My side of the bed is the furthest from the door, and at the corner of the bed sits my Dad’s old study chair as I call it – and love it.
  It’s really too big for that spot, but there’s no where else for it to go.
  And it’s the one piece of furniture that I own that actually holds some sentimental value to me.
  I’ve moved it from room to room through the years and it’s finally settled there…
  which makes a wonderful laundry basket for the piles of clothes I never seem to hang up for weeks on end.

  The clothes were carefully stuck just around the bed out of sight for this shot..
  and promptly put back when I was done!

    

  But the leg of chair and the end of the bed leave little space in between –
  and I was constantly stubbing my toe or whacking my head on the post!

  I realized{and quickly}that I needed to put my hand out in front of me…
  to grab hold of the post in order to maneuver my way around with less pain.

  At first it was awkward and I would swat at the air like an idiot,
  chuckling to myself how many times I was no where even close.
  Only to have the chuckling abruptly stop when I re located it, yup… once again with my head!
  Or veering a bit too far the other way and trying to muffle the non-Christ like words wanting to escape my mouth. 
  Many nights I felt like a pin ball machine pinging back and forth.
  I hated those trips to the bathroom!

   
   

  But in time I’ve learned….
  about exactly 2 steps forward – hand out – there’s the post – grab it – walk around – toe safe – head safe – bladder relief!
  It’s my pattern. My habit.
  Something that’s become so familiar to me I do it without thinking, or even getting too woke up.
  It’s just what I’m used to now. What I know. And what I’ve practiced.

  There’s still nights I overshoot my target or veer too far to the right…
  but it doesn’t happen nearly as often.
  I know much better – from experience – the way to walk.

  

  

  That’s what faith is like to me.

  When things in life are unknown. unsure. beyond my reach or out of my control.
  When there is that “darkness” that I can’t seem to find my way out of or understand or see things for how they clearly are…
  that’s when I need and must reach for The One who is solid and steadfast. always the same. always there.
  There’s no need to stumble in confusion and wring my hands wondering what’s the right way – He is the way!

  And when I take hold of Him – - not just the things that sound like Him, but are often only merely the ideas and methods of man..
  but truly HIM. His person. Who He is and what He desires with me and through me~
  then. the weaving and veering through tough places becomes easier.
  the needless pain of trying to make it on my own less occurring.
  and my rest.. surprisingly undisturbed.  

  “For I know Who I have believed in, and am persuaded that He is able….” 2 Timothy 1:12

  “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

   

  amber.

  • 2:13 pm
  • 48 Comments