May 7, 2010

• {Family Pics. Marriage… and some Kicks}
  
  On our last night of vacation we tried to go out and get a nice family shot by the ocean. But it was super windy and most turned out pretty funny.. it reminded me of a little ditty Shayne will occasionally burst out singing every now and then – “If the wind would blow my troubles away I’d stand in a hurricane.”

  That was about how it was.

  We did get a few okay ones from the bunch. And then Ben snapped some of S. and I while the girls were dancing in the wind… laughing at how it seemed to carry them along. It surprised me how much Ben picked the camera up this trip. I think it’s really become an interest for him. And he got some great shots~ alot of those in the previous post are ones he took. Maybe we’ll get a photographer in this family after all.

     

  

  
  
  A few weeks ago while running errands I heard this guy on the radio preaching about marriage. The points he was making really spoke to me,  and I found myself wanting to make sure to remember them… so I started digging around in the van for something to write on. I used to carry a small notebook in my purse, but it’s been filled awhile and I’ve yet to replace it. I finally found some waded up piece of paper advertising something or another stuffed in the back of the seat. You know those handy little pockets they put in your vehicles for like maps and umbrella’s.. mine are usually filled with melted crayons. garbage. and half eaten french fries! But believe me, the unknown treasures in those things have come in handy more than once.   

  And while on vacation I found my piece of paper stuck down in my purse and had a chance to read over it again and think further about it all… 

   
  “A Song of Solomon Kind of Marriage :

  1. Keep on Seeing it.

  “Behold, thou art fair my love….”

  So many times the author mentions how beautiful his love is.
  They say “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” But that’s true because the person is looking for it…
  Such a KEY in marriage – never stop LOOKING for the loveliness!

  2. Keep on Securing it.

  “It’s the little foxes that spoil the vine….”

  Usually it’s not the big stuff that break marriages apart, but the small stuff.
  It seems to quietly accumulate through the years to create that one defining moment where you realize things are a mess…
  and you don’t even know why or how you even got to this point!
   
  Guard against the “little foxes.”

  Things like-
  .living outside your means
  {financial pressure puts so much stress on a marriage} -how true.
  .separate bed times
  {it doesn’t matter if one is a morning person and one a night owl. it’s important to get on the same routine} -this one got me! :/
  .extended family
  {inlaws can cause alot of damage if you don’t establish boundaries. you must remember you’re a family unit all by yourself!} – great point!
  .unresolved conflict
  {do whatever it takes to work something out. don’t go to bed angry} -learned the hard way many times.
  .having no time alone
  {it’s crucial to set aside time for just the two of you} -life altering for sure.. i breathe better after alone time with shayne.

  3. Keep on Savoring it

  “Your love is better than wine….”

  Have you ever watched someone who really knows their wines? The way they drink it?
  It requires all the senses. They are so involved and in the moment.
  Such a good picture of how our love should be – taking time to truly enjoy and savor everything about it.

  4. Keep on Sealing it

  “Set me as a seal over thy heart, and as a seal upon thy arm….”

  The word seal means, “legally binding. lasting.”
  A seal on the heart is referring to a private faithfulness~ a consistent loyalty and commitment within the parts of you no one else sees. your secret thoughts and desires.
  And the seal upon the arm indicates a public faithfulness~ praising. giving respect. being proud of the one you married. not afraid to let the world know of how passionate you are about this person.”

  ***

  There were so many other good words and thoughts in between…
  but these were the ones I was able to jot down quickly at stop lights along the way.

  Taking some time to read Song of Solomon and think about these points more while we were gone helped stir my heart to not grow complacent in my marriage~ to keep it fresh. alive. on fire. Sure, it’s work. And sometimes, hard work. But, as I know you all know as well as me.. oh, so worth it!

  

   
  “When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity – in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

  The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation, but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now, within their limits – islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides.” -Anne Morrow Lindbergh

  
  

  
  

  Sitting typing this post I felt the baby kicking for the first time~ up to now I’ve only felt some flutters.
  

  But this time… I’d say it’s a good indicator we have a live one here!!

  
  

  
  

  
  

  amber.
  

  
  

  • 11:54 pm
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