October 14, 2010

• {being a hippie vs. being pink}

  I’ve been trying to get this post done since Tuesday …
  it’s been one of them weeks.
  Not bad. just busy.
  Where spare time is taken up with laundry.
  Answering school questions.
  Staring at my baby.
  And moving boxes.
  Not packing them. Just MOVING them!
  Literally, from one room to the next …

  I could tell right away moving and I were going to have some issues -
  For starters I hate seeing those things sitting around.
  So bland and just plain ugly {and they kinda stink too}…
  Hasn’t anyone thought of making pretty boxes!
  Maybe even scented ones too – like those trash bags you can buy.

  I’ve been wearing my heart monitor now for two days.
  According to the little black box attached to me I only have 05:35:24 to go! :/
  It also has a normal clock on it too, which I didn’t realize at first.
  My kids kept coming up bending over, cocking their head sideways and staring at it. 
  I thought they must be really fascinated by it…
  only to find out they’ve merely been checking the time.
  Nice to know they found it so convenient having their mom as a walking human clock!
  

  tick.tock. 
  

  I admit I’ve felt a bit like the bionic woman, with things stuck all over my chest and wires hanging from my shirt..
  but as one of my girlfriends said, look more like a suicide bomber. :/

  No wonder I had funny stares going into the store yesterday.

  It comes off this afternoon and first thing, I’m coming home and taking a shower.
  Never quite got into those sponge baths, ya know.  ;)
  That’s really been the only tough part… . 
  That. and feeling itchy, claustrophobic, and having a giant mp3 player strapped to your waist 24/7.
  Minus the nice music.
  

  But despite monitors and sponge baths and brown moving boxes that smell, the week has been a good one. Full days and some fun memories.
  I’m determined to make these last weeks here ones of joy and gratefulness. Sure. a huge part of me is sad about moving. You’ve no idea… 

  I often find myself with this sudden urge to just sit in the middle of wherever I am… the kitchen floor. the backyard. the grocery store. and bawl my eyes out and scream out loud how much I’m going to miss all this! A friend said to me not long ago, “you’re going to miss us, ya know?” Oh. I KNOW. Trust me I do. That clamp that tightens around my heart until it hurts reminds me just how much. But I also want to see clearly and soak in all that I love here, and I can’t do that if my eyes are constantly clouded with tears of sadness! For many reasons you can’t always see what you need to if your eyes are filled with tears~ nothing wrong with crying. I have and will cry many more buckets full, I promise. But I don’t want these last weeks to be focused on me. my emotions. There’ll be a time to do that. Because it’s not about denying my struggles – but not allowing those struggles to keep me from enjoying today. The moment I have right here and now!

  And I also want my kids to see something…. because I know they’re watching. Searching for how to respond and accept and let go. I want them to see that even while struggling to sort through things. Feeling a sense of loss. Even fear. That joy can still preside over our hearts. Instead of being depressed that a wonderful time in our lives is coming to a close – be grateful we’ve had this time at all! {or so i keep reminding myself}
  

  Here’s some of my favorite pictures from the weekend and week~

   

    
  

  
  

   

   

  

  
  

  
  
      
  

  
   

  

  

  

  
  

        

  I wanted to share more about Kate’s birthday, but xanga is being all wonky… not all my pictures are showing up!?
  I’ll have to wait and share about that in an upcoming post. She turned 13 and that’s a pretty big deal I think.
  

  And she wanted me to get your opinion here about something…

  She has a costume party coming up this weekend and can’t decide whether to go as a hippie, or the color pink. {not to be confused w. the rock star!}  
  Kate has so many wonderful qualities about her - decisiveness not being among them!

  So, what do you think:: 1. kate the hippie OR 2. kate the color pink
  

  Emma says she’s going to be a wolf…. or, “a dost wif a sheet under my head!”
  I’m sure she’d be the sweetest ghost there ever was!

  
  

  These last pictures are for you, Cindy!!

   
  

  Well, it’s almost time to go get these wires off and be free again, baby! woo hoo~
  

  My kids won’t know what to do…
  they’ll  have to resort to looking at the kitchen clock again.
  

  Hope you all are having a great week.

  
  

  ¸.·´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
  (¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`♥ amber

  
  

  • 11:48 am
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