September 3, 2010

• {the last of the maternity shots}

  
  {attempting to buckle my shoe that kept coming undone from my swollen ankles}
  
  Today is absolutely gorgeous…
  sunny. breezy. high of 71.
  perfect!
  They said it was going to rain,
  but no signs of it now.
  
  I’m upstairs in my bedroom..
  and all the windows are open.
  The breeze is blowing the curtains halfway across the room inside,
  while outside – its blowing the leaves that are already starting to fall 3 feet off the ground.
  Reminds me of the Winnie the Pooh cartoon, “One Blustery Day.”

   
  
  I love having the sofa table from the living room in the bedroom…
  it works perfect for a desk – so much roomier than the little one that’s now in the living room.
  I actually find myself sitting down to write more.
  Shayne’s big desk downstairs is fine, but something bout your own little space.
  My cards and books and notebooks are all strewn out across it.
  
  It’s closer to the bathroom too.
  And the laundry room, which I’ve been working on today. 
  Trying to get all the sheets done, and the last of the baby clothes washed.
  Laundry has always been a interesting process for me.
  It’s my least favorite thing to do…
  which means it doesn’t get done until absolutely necessary!
  I’ve said before it’s probably not a good thing having a laundry area with doors… atleast for me.
  Cause if I can’t see it I really don’t think about it. :/ {applies to my closets too}
  
  But, the time eventually comes when I can’t close the doors put it off anymore.
  So I give in and tackle it. Sorting everything into nice neat organized piles to start…
  just as my mother taught me. whitesdarkslightstowels.
  But.. usually each time without fail, by the end I’m just wanting to be DONE.
  So I start throwing it all together.
  Yes, I’ve ended up with some lint-balled sweaters from being mixed with towels,
  or a few pink underwear through the years – but who doesn’t like pink!
  
  In the end it’s all clean – whether sorted right or not – and done alot quicker.

  
   
  
  Ugg. the smoke detector kept going off..
  scared me to death the first few times.
  I sniffed around for smoke but couldn’t find any.
  I think the breeze was triggering it? weird.
  Finally just took the battery out.
  
  I decided to take one last batch of maternity shots~
  we went over to my parents yesterday and I wanted the kids in them with me.
  But, being at mamaw’s and papaw’s there’s just so many more way fun things to do..
  so that didn’t quite transpire how I envisioned.
  I never seem to do well being in shots with the kids.
  I’m usually talking the whole time –
  and yeah, the pictures come out looking like it.  

  
  
  
  I had bought this, “I love my boyfriend” shirt a while back at Forever 21~ when I saw it I knew I had to get it cause I always tell Shayne since I was never allowed to date growing up, he was my first and last boyfriend!
  
  Kate asked me if she could have it when she has her first boyfriend.
  To which I stopped and felt my neck whiplash, “huh??”
  That’s just so not a thought I’m ready to think about….
  
  Still haven’t decided all that stuff yet with the kids, courtship vs. dating.
  And if that sounds totally bizarre to you I’m referring to how I was raised –
  being taught a “principle” known as courtship which simply meant not casually dating,
  but… “saving your complete self for the one you would someday marry.”
  
  I do think the concept behind all that is good..
  just not sure I’d label it “courtship” and want my kids to make a commitment to it and all that jazz.
  It’s a bridge we’ll cross when we get there~ and I have a feeling for each kid the bridge will be a little different.

  
  
   
  Monday night I woke up thinking I was in labor.
  I paced the floor.
  Got a hot bath.
  Debated calling Shayne at 3 in the morning…
  I know I’m slightly paranoid nervous with him gone and not sure when/what should be the timing to call him back if I thought I really was~
  
  Each one of my labors has been kinda unique.
  With Kate it was the classic – water breaking, labor began.
  Do you know I actually HEARD my water break with her?
  Sounded just like a rubber band pulled super tight that someone had snipped with scissors.
  I’ll never forget it.
  Laying in bed late one night..
  hearing the s.n.a.p.
  and waking Shayne to tell him I had just heard a noise~
   
  “where?” he asked sleepily, “outside?”
  
  “No. INSIDE… ME??!!”

  
  
  
  With Ben we had just moved down here…
  didn’t have any furniture or ANYthing, as papers were held up in immigration.
  We were still several weeks out from the due date and I was hoping by then we’d have our stuff.
  One Saturday I wasn’t feeling well.. called the doctor, who told me to come on in to the hospital to be checked.
  On the way I was starving, so we went through Wendy’s where I got a cheeseburger, fries, and a coke.
  Once there I was shocked to have this cute, spunky african american nurse look up the table at me and say all animated-like,
  
  “girlfriend.. you’re 7 c. dilated.. we’re going to get you prepped for labor!!!”
  
  That was my blurriest labor yet.
  I think I never got over my initial shock that I actually was in labor until they put Ben in my arms!
  I remember one of the nurses asking me when I last ate,
  and “scolding” me for eating my Wendy’s!
   
  “don’t you know you never eat when you’re coming to the hospital?”
  
  I never, and still don’t, get the whole not eating when in labor thing!
  I think if you want less cranky mama’s trying to bring a baby into the world.. let.them.eat.
  
  Emma’s labor was kinda the same –
  casually going in on a Monday afternoon just cause things seemed different.
  Finding out we were halfway there!
  that time I was more prepared. and that was my easiest labor of all.
  Though when I got the epidural it only took on one side.
  Which talk about a strange sensation….
  feeling like Gimpy the stretcho man on one side,
  and Atilla the Hun on the other!
  
  I tell people I’ve partly experienced natural child birth…
  …and partly is good enough for me!

  
   
  
  Things quieted in the early morning hours on Monday…
  and all day Tuesday I debated on whether to call my midwife, and to call Shayne.
  Finally did call late in the afternoon, and of course, they wanted me to come in.
  The midwife said I was 3 c. and 50% effaced.
  And she thought baby would come any day – -
  course any day could mean tomorrow, or 2 weeks from now, right!!
  They said ANY DAY back at 30 weeks..
  and here we are at 37!
  
  Which thank you, Lord!!
  I KNOW this little one has been kept by all the prayers of so many..
  I’m sure there’s never been a baby so bathed in prayer!
  and what a precious thing.
  
  But we are now in the free and clear…
  so you can start to let up there.
  
  The midwife said I could go to the track and run laps if I wanted.
  Excuse me…  but do I look like the lap running kind of girl??

  

  
  
  When I told Shayne what the midwife thought he said he would go ahead and come home early this week.
  It was one of those things I didn’t really want to ask him –
  because… you know what’s going to happen don’t you?
  this little one will probably be 3 MONTHS LATE!!
  
  But I didn’t realize how stressed I was feeling about him not being here..
  until I saw how relieved I was when I knew he was coming home.
  He wasn’t able to get back like planned on Wednesday.
  Couldn’t get a rental car that would allow him to come only one way.
  But finally made it in late last night. {more answered prayer}

  I couldn’t believe how sunburnt his face was and only then did I learn that he had to take the ferry across Lake Erie to get back into the states. A 41/2 hr. ride! Then, a friend met him at the border and drove him the rest of the way. I smiled every time I saw his face today with his racoon eyes from sunglasses… kinda feeling like my man went through hell and high water to get back to me – the whole princess rescued by her prince thing! and I discovered, I kinda like being rescued every now and then. Even if I didn’t really need rescuing I guess. Still. it’s nice.
  
  So.. now we’re all home.
  And I think Shayne’s been able to clear his schedule until baby arrives.
  I hate the waiting part. It just seems like it’s never going to happen.
  BUT…
  I know it will.
  Eventually.
  It’s inevitable.
  It really is.
  

  
  
  
  I was telling a friend I’ve never felt more ready for something to come,
  and yet more unprepared for it at the same time.
  I’m such a strange mixture of contradictory emotions.
  So excited and so nervous~ calm like a 4th time mom, and scared like a 1st time one.
  I can’t believe how rough these past few weeks have been physically…
  I feel like such a wimp when I can barely roll, and I literally mean roll, out of bed at night.
  Everything is so stiff and I feel like an old lady painfully putting one foot in front of the other…
  There’s been some tears of frustration over all that, and I’ve felt a bit guilty for them.
  
  “…was I the one sitting on the toilet every month crying, God, please in your mercy give us another baby! and now I’m like, God, please in your mercy just take it all away….”
  
  Well, not away away.. you know what I mean. Just out!

  I think that’s why pregnancy lasts 9 months -
  in the end you don’t care what you have to go through to get that sweet baby out!

  
  
  
  Still. pregnancy is a marvel to me.
  I love feeling her moving about.
  Putting my hand on the place where she’s sticking a foot or hand and thinking how just inches away…
  right there inside me is this LIFE!
  That just blows my mind every time.
  The miracle of a baby and birth and God’s design.
  
  In doing the laundry I was reminded of what my number one craving has been in this pregnancy –
  FRESH SMELLS!!!
  I could sniff a box of dryer sheets straight up my nose – I just can’t get enough.
  Irish Springs soap is another five.
  And a friend just sent me a package yesterday with this amazing body scrub from VS that’s right up there too!! {thanks Michelle}
  
  {that reminds me – shayne got ID’d the other day at home depot for buying spray paint…something to do with what the lady called, “huffing.” spraying it in a bag and inhaling it. i’d never heard of it. but.. kinda sounds familiar!}
  
  Food cravings pretty much haven’t changed~
  though I think I’ve drank enough sweet tea to sink a ship.
  And it can’t just be any tea either – I’m picky.
  When I say sweet tea…
  I mean, SWEET!

  

  
  
   
  
  The kids are outside playing now.
  I can see them through the window.
  Painting at the swing set…
  which probably means it’s getting painted in the process too.
  I remember when we first bought that several years back…
  it was one of those fancy ones from Sam’s Club. Or fancy to me!
  I was so proud of that thing. No more metal candy cane striped swing set for us!
  And the first time Ben decided to embellish it…
  with pictures, or attempts of pictures of bulldogs – his football team mascot, in his football team colors!
  
  I was not happy about our beautiful fancy swing set now having green and black stripes all over it –
  along with bulldog looking things.
  Funny though that once that new thing gets it’s first scratch or stain or dent…
  suddenly, all the other ones that follow don’t matter as much.
  How fast the new loses it’s new. And if you live focused on it, man! you’ll live exhausted.
  Besides. that old vintage worn look is in, isn’t it?

  Actually, the colors have quite grown on me now….
  I’m a huge bulldogs fan! atleast of one little linebacker in particular.
  
  Some things in life you just have to laugh over!
  Or, I should say MOST things in life you just have to laugh over!
  When you think about it – reality is –
  there really is very few worth getting our panties in a wad over.
  Things aren’t as serious as all that.
  
  Last week walking into the Dollar Theater with the girls…
  {to see Ramona and Beezus which is a super cute movie btw}
  Emma was holding my hand, with her other one on my belly as she does-
  {she’s holding the baby’s hand too!}
  And she said with a little laugh,

  “mom.. I fink when we det in dare we need to tell da people you are prag-r-a-nent.. so dey know why you’re so fat!”

  ah, yes. with kiddos.. it’s pretty hard to ever take life too seriously!

  

  Well.. my husband just got home and asked if I wanted to go up to the track with him tonight!!
  Anyone want to join us?

  I’m thinking this would be the perfect weekend for a baby –
  after all, it is LABOR DAY!!!

  hope you have a great one~

  
  ¸.·´¸.·¨) ¸.·¨)
  (¸.·´ (¸.·´ (¸.·¨¯`♥ amber  
   

  {and check out this cool giveaway on my friend  Jenny’s site – if you don’t know her take a little time to do that. she’s great!} 
  

  • 5:16 pm
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