{Some Time Away}

We went on vacation last week…
It was absolutely.perfect.
The best one we’ve ever had! [out of the two "real" ones we've ever taken]

I looked up the definition of vacation because sometimes a word all by itself doesn’t quite do justice to what you’re wanting to express.
Looking at the deeper meaning can help shed light on those emotions you can’t put into words.
But the description wasn’t exactly what I was after. 

However, one word used did catch my eye… {escape}.
Yes. that seemed to capture the essence of it more.
So I looked up what escape meant.
And I liked it. 

“to get free; get away; get out; break lose, as from a prison; to slip away; disappear; to grow wild, as a plant from a condition of cultivation; a temporary mental release from reality”

Now that’s what I’m talkin bout!

Our time away seemed, for me, to be a much needed spiritual… hmm.. maybe “reflection” is the word I’m looking for.
Not that I sat around reading my Bible all day. It wasn’t like that.
But just more about quiet conversations with God that seemed to blend into the methodical noise of the surrounding ocean…
Time to examine where I am in life. who I am. who God is. what He’s about. and what He’s about to me. and in me. .
And I realized that every area that surfaced was so completely saturated by an uncharacteristic calm.

I say, “uncharacteristic,” because it is.
Calm is not a protruding quality in my personality. 
I get hot headed far too easily. I yell at my kids. I like action and activity. I’m passionate. dramatic. emotional.    

So to discover that the dozen things I could and would normally be flipped out about, I’m not…
well, I know {so very much so} that’s not me, it’s God.
It’s something He’s been doing in my heart this past year and months and days and now and still –
It’s not over. Far from. Probably never will be.

Sure, I’ve had lots of times where I’ve felt God’s peace.. but to say it has ruled my heart? Honestly – not so much. 
And I want it to be more than a mere experience. I want it to be a lifestyle.



No. I didn’t exactly have to go to the beach to realize these things…
but it seemed that space of time away helped solidify and seal and deepen and make sense of some things that needed sorting out still.

A quote came to my mind often as I sat and looked out at the ocean day after day. It was something I had read as a teenager years ago.
I looked it up in an old devotional book last night because I wanted to get it right. It says:

“There is a part of the sea known as “the cushion of the sea.” It lies beneath the surface that is agitated by storms and churned by the wind. It is so deep that it is a part of the sea that is never stirred.

When the ocean floor in these deep places is dredged of the remains of plant or animal life, it reveals evidence of having remained completely undisturbed for hundreds, if not thousands, of years. Unaffected by all the turbulence that was above it.

The peace of God is an eternal calm like the “”cushion of the sea.”” It lies so deep in our hearts that no circumstance or difficulty can reach it. We can go within and access that place at any time, and in doing so in the midst of difficult circumstances, we draw those around us into the presence of our God whose everlasting arms are beneath all of our stormy seas in life.”

That’s my desire… a heart like the cushion of the sea.

Freedom is something I thought alot about last week too…
Partly because for the first time in life I genuinely feel it.
Partly because it’s a popular word to use in our culture.
Everyone.. Christian and non.. seem to be chasing it.
And I don’t think it’s about what we often think it is, or try to define it as.

Another “self discovery” sitting on those sandy beaches was realizing that when I am most free.. is when He is ruling my life! 

Psalm 62:1 says, “My soul finds rest in God alone.”

God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.




~ some people shots from our time
   


  

 
   
 

 


 

          




~some beach shots from our time

  

“The Sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of wonder forever.”

–Jacques Cousteau

  

“It’s hard for me to put into words why I like the beach so much. Everything about it is renewing for me, almost like therapy…”

–Amy Dykens

   

“I mean to lead a simple life, to choose a simple shell I can carry easily – like a hermit crab.”

–Gift from the Sea

“We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.”

–Mother Teresa
 

“I have always loved the beach. The smell of the salty water, the wind in my face, the gentle roar of the waves all combine to create a sense of peace and calm.”

–Anonymous

 

“The waves of the sea help me get back to me.”

–Jill Davis 

~what’s your favorite vacation memory? I think it’d be fun to hear…

look forward to catching up on blogs soon.


love,

amber.

How Hutch5 All Began…

I’ll never forget 19 years ago as I was about to leave on 5-wk. seminar trip with the homeschooling organization I worked for, and not exactly wanting to go. My mom said to me what I guess all good moms say to their teenage daughters when they’re trying to encourage them… “Who knows? Maybe you’ll meet your future husband on this trip!” : )

And though I never actually met him, he saw me. There sitting in the back row at one of the seminars- bronze tan from a summer on the lake, long shaggy blonde hair hanging on his collar, slouched down in his seat, arms folded…  graduated from high school and not very happy about his parents suddenly up and deciding to homeschool him and his three brothers. He is what we in our group would have called a, “encouragement case.” Certainly not fitting the stereotype typical homeschooler.  I’ve teased and told him had I seen him, I’m sure I would have wanted to offer him some “encouragement.”

But it wouldn’t be for another 2 years that we would officially meet. The blonde hair now cut, a blue suit now covering the tan, the rebel attitude gone. But still… I could see immediately this guy wasn’t like all the others. He was sincere, straightforward, lived outside the mold, and had a quiet strength and mystery about him. Not obnoxious and arrogant like most the guys I knew. I found myself really fascinated by this “different” Canadian.

Now… 15 years later. I’m still fascinated.

I feel like there are so many things I could say about Shayne. I like talking about him. But the one that comes to mind ahead of the others is his depth of character! There is such a genuine sincerity about him, a contentment and calming kind of factor. Sometimes I look at him and say, “how do you do it? man, I wish I were more like you!” He is the easiest person in the world to be around and I know were we not married, we’d be the best of friends! I absolutely love conversation with him – no one makes more sense of things to me than him. He is so good at putting things in their right perspective – there’s true wisdom in him. {“the wisdom that is from above is pure. peaceable. easy to understand. full of mercy…” James 3}.

I look back and sometimes cringe at some of the guys I almost ended up with! The mistake I could have made. And there’s no doubt in my mind that God sent Shayne at the exact moment into my life when I truly needed him. My dad used to say, “Whoever marries Amber will need to know how to be gentle, yet keep a tight rein!” Shayne does that well. And no one has had more spiritual influence and impact, and showed me more of what the heart of God looks like than this man.

              
              
   
Happy Birthday to the one who puts the Hutch in Hutch5. : )

The other 4 of us are so glad we have you!!!

 

LovE.LoVe.LOve.

amber. kate. ben. & emma.

“Great is His steadfast love towards us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.” Ps. 117:2

{Mini Me & The Egg Heads}

I’ve never seen myself in any of my kids…

I see my husband. My mother in law. Even my brothers.

But for the most part, when I look at them they just seem like their own little people to me~
just them. and nobody else.

Except…

When Emma makes funny faces.

Then…

I see a slight resemblance.

 
But even if they’re not always looking like me in their physical appearance, their actions and attitudes are a different story.
It seems every day I come face to face with three mirrors that very accurately display my true reflection.
And the sight I’m confronted with isn’t always pretty.
There can be a lot of ug-lay.
Ugly I’m not even aware that’s in my heart until I see it in one of them.

I long ago knew that this whole mommy thing was something I couldn’t do on my own… I am completely disabled without Christ.
That’s kinda easy to admit.
But recognizing something needs changing and actually changing it~
That’s kinda not so easy. 

They say the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing expecting a different result.

Well, I’ve been seeing some insanity setting in. There’s some areas where I really feel God is waking me up and showing me the urgency to not just nod my head and agree with Him, but get up and follow His direction and walk in what He’s telling me to do. And yup~ nodding and walking are completely different things. I often find myself quite comfortable to just sit and nod. I’ve got the nodding part down pretty good now. But the walking after Him…. that takes commitment. sacrifice. A deliberate, conscious choice.

And I’m not talking about trying harder.
Revving myself up to be the super mom who produces super kids.

I believe with all my heart that kids don’t turn out because of their parents, but often.. in spite of their parents.
God’s grace is amazing that way to fill in all the areas we miss, don’t see, forget to cover, or didn’t realize until later! 

 
What I’m talking about is just having a fresh perspective ignited in my heart lately that our kids are sponges and will absorb whatever is spilling over from our life~ whether good or bad.
There really is a lot of truth behind the little saying, “more is caught than taught.”
And if I want my kids to be passionate about Jesus Christ~ well, I better be giving them a glimpse of what that looks like.

And I’m not sure it always looks like the things that I allow to occupy most of my time, energy, efforts and thoughts.

Not long ago one of the kids asked Shayne what it meant to “Walk in the Spirit.” He explained it like this~
“It’s kind of like having two dogs inside you.. one white, the other, black. And whatever dog you feed the most.. that’s the one that’s going to be the strongest.”
I loved that simple illustration. It comes to mind often.
And that’s exactly what I’m feeling lately– that there’s some “bags of dog food” around our home, in our hearts, that need tossing out!  

It’s so easy for me to switch to auto pilot in my Christian life {which is where I’ve been living lately}.
To find myself going through the motions without genuine sincerity…
Falling into the trap of wanting to merely check a box on a list, rather than listening {truly listening} to that still small voice inside.
Let’s be honest.. in the Christian life going through the motions and checking boxes is often more “convenient” than following the Spirit.
Because boxes are easier. tidy. all packaged and sealed and looking like they’re supposed to. 
But God and how He works in our lives can’t be wrapped up so neatly and certainly not contained to one box ~
if anything when Jesus was here on earth He blew all Christian boxes out of the water!!
We can’t always explain or understand what God is asking of us.. and that’s okay.
It’s not for us to always explain or understand – it’s for us to simply have faith and obey.

And our kids know.. they know if we’re box checkers or truly listening to Jesus. 
We often can tell what’s inside our own hearts by what is played out in our children’s lives…
Sometimes the evidence of what comes back is sobering and you realize it’s time for some “reprogramming of the sponges,” as one friend of mine put it so well.
Which means there needs to be some re programming of some things in our own lives as parents to begin with.
That’s where we’re at. Addressing some obvious changes that need to happen. {Maybe I’ll share more in a future blog}

When I stop and read back over this I can’t help but to smile…
kind of a half sigh/ half smile thing actually.
My life is such a broken record.
Often coming back to the same old same old just on different battle fronts.

I used to think I’d get to a place in life {eventually} where I’d have it all figured out…
that spiritual plateau where you can stand and look down on those less fortunate who aren’t there yet.
Oh, and it exists alright because I’ve seen those that are there.

But I don’t know… more and more I find it rather freeing to simply realize life is a forever classroom and perfection is an “illusion.”
Because if it weren’t– Why would we need Him? 

= = ~ = = ~ = = ~ = = ~ = =

We had a fun lunch yesterday… …
 

  

Though I didn’t realize how scary some of them looked until I posted this picture!! :/
Next time we need to work on those pepper lips a bit more, I think.

Perhaps having some good ole Jones’ Root Beer to wash it all down helped deter from the scary egg head sandwiches staring up at them!
A special, “summery” kind of treat for sure!

I just like how the bottles look myself. : ) 

= = ~ = = ~ = = ~ = = ~ = =

Emma had collected some rocks from the driveway the other day and was washing them off in the sink.
When she couldn’t seem to get the spots off one and was growing frustrated I told her that’s how it was made.

“But who made dem?” She asked.

“Well… God did.”

She looked at the rock and turned it over several times in her hand, her forehead wrinkling in thought.

“But how did He det dem down here?”

“Hmmm…” Wanting to simplify the eternally long Creation/Flood explanation I said, “I guess He makes them in heaven and just throws them over.”

Without questioning my theory or giving it a second thought she answered quickly, “Well, why doesn’t He do dat wif candy too?”

Good point.

= = ~ = = ~ = = ~ = = ~ = =

Thanks so much to Rachel for the adorable skirt and ruffle pants in the photos below~ and to Danya for the sweet headband!
Both your packages arrived on the same day. So fun. and so very thoughtful!!!

      

 

“Your home is the single most powerful arena on earth to change a life for God.”

amber.

{Moms are Timeless}

 
 
Today my mom turns 60!

I know she won’t mind me telling the world her age…
she’s one of those women that just doesn’t care about that kind of stuff.
She’s always embraced what life brings with grace and calm~
though when she reads this she’ll laugh at the calm part.

But I don’t think “calm” means acting like nothing ever ruffles your feathers..
only knowing where to turn when those feather ruffling times come.

That’s mom.

She’s passionate.
About God. About her family. Her beliefs.

And she’s honest.
Like really, truly honest~ about her own heart….
What her struggles are and how obeying God isn’t always easy.
She doesn’t feel the need to pretend to be something she’s not -
or let the insecurity of “what will others think if I admit I don’t have it all together….”
keep her from admitting she doesn’t have it all together.

Which isn’t that the best kind of Christian after all?
Not the kind that acts like they never falter or fail…
but the kind that knows no matter how great a fault or failure – His grace is greater still.
And that is the only thing that gets any of us through!

I love that she’s made me know it’s okay to not be perfect. 

She’s a great prayer warrior…
like the kind that convicts me and I want to aspire to be!
Often when I say, “Mom, will you pray about this?”
Her answer – “I already have been..”

Her intuition is amazing.
And usually dead on.

She has so much sensitivity to others and their feelings.
And possesses such a deep ability to love despite a childhood of hurt and abuse.

She’s a wonderful wife~
not always liking my Dad’s vocation {pastor}…
but standing by and supporting him through 38 years of ministry, regardless.
Knowing that before she’s “Mrs. Pastor’s wife” she’s simply, “just his wife” –
which is who she truly desires to be anyway.

     

   

She’s an awesome cook. A talent I did not inherit.
And an amazing teacher. Another talent I did not inherit. 

I think her generosity stands out to me the most~
I’ve never known anyone so giving.

Whenever I need her- she’s there. {HUGE period after. and no exceptions.}
Despite having an incurable disease herself and not feeling well most days…
she’s still the strongest of our family. in so many ways!

She’s an amazing note writer~
I have dozens of cards and scraps of paper where she’s communicated words of encouragement and love.

We have a pretty tight mother-daughter relationship…
but believe me, we have our moments.

We’re very alike and can drive each other nuts at times.
She’s hot headed. Which IS something I inherited.
We can argue like all get out and hurt each others feelings.

It’s not always straight out of the “Little Women” storybook for us..
but we’re quick to make things right- usually within the same conversation.  
And no matter what, there remains a closeness.
a genuine closeness. and depth to what we have.

Which I honestly feel the most REAL kind of relationships are the ones that have a bit of conflict from time to time~
it’s only human. inevitable. a part of life. it’s gonna happen. we’re fleshly people.

But when there’s unconditional acceptance -
there’s a FREEDOM to talk things through and deal with issues.
Not just ignoring them or pretending they don’t exist.
And that kind of freedom brings a whole new level of understanding and trust to a relationship.
Sure there’s times we might agree to disagree.. but it doesn’t hinder or cause a cloud over us being real with each other. 

I’m so thankful for that.
 
I joke sometimes about how that every relationship needs a good fight every now and then to clear the air and get rid of any superficial junk.
{but don’t take me up on that one for awhile.. hormones make me a tad extra sensitive these days!!}

I remember people saying you never truly appreciate your mom until you are one yourself.
I think that’s true.

I feel like the older I get the more I get my mom.

And I become more and more acutely aware of the gift I’ve been given.
The heritage laid out before me…
and the blessing of a wonderful example and pattern to follow.

It’s funny though~
I can see the physical changes in mom through the years.
The few gray hairs popping out…
{which I think I gave every one to her in the first half of this pregnancy she was so worried about me}

But in many ways she just. seems. timeless. ~

How she is now is how she’s always been…
to me, anyway.
I think back and can’t remember a time she wasn’t there…
and it feels like she forever will be.

Yes. I think our mother’s are so intertwined with our own hearts in a way beyond what we can truly express -
that even when we’re separated.. whether by miles or physically by death.. still. they penetrate so much of who we are.

no matter what..
they’re part of us.
simply timeless.
in their own unique way.

Happy Birthday Mom. I’m so grateful for your life~

And in honor of my mom’s birthday why don’t you call up your own and let her know what she means to you….
or go hug your kiddos tight and just communicate what only a mother’s hug can communicate.

Let’s celebrate the women in our lives that make it that much more beautiful~ !!!

with love,

amber.

{That’s what faith is like}

Several of you have asked how I’m doing with baby…

I’m actually feeling pretty good these days.
Finally past all the yucky first trimester junk,
heading into my 5th month…
and hitting the, “I don’t even really feel pregnant until I decide to wear something without an elastic waist band” stage.

  

The only bad thing right now is that this baby seems to have decided to permanently camp out on my bladder~
apparently being half Indian or something and liking to engage in a obvious war dance of sorts…
especially between midnight and 6 a.m.
Causing this sleepy squaw to be up every hour on the hour pretty much.

 

My side of the bed is the furthest from the door, and at the corner of the bed sits my Dad’s old study chair as I call it – and love it.
It’s really too big for that spot, but there’s no where else for it to go.
And it’s the one piece of furniture that I own that actually holds some sentimental value to me.
I’ve moved it from room to room through the years and it’s finally settled there…
which makes a wonderful laundry basket for the piles of clothes I never seem to hang up for weeks on end.

The clothes were carefully stuck just around the bed out of sight for this shot..
and promptly put back when I was done!

  

But the leg of chair and the end of the bed leave little space in between –
and I was constantly stubbing my toe or whacking my head on the post!

I realized{and quickly}that I needed to put my hand out in front of me…
to grab hold of the post in order to maneuver my way around with less pain.

At first it was awkward and I would swat at the air like an idiot,
chuckling to myself how many times I was no where even close.
Only to have the chuckling abruptly stop when I re located it, yup… once again with my head!
Or veering a bit too far the other way and trying to muffle the non-Christ like words wanting to escape my mouth. 
Many nights I felt like a pin ball machine pinging back and forth.
I hated those trips to the bathroom!

 
 

But in time I’ve learned….
about exactly 2 steps forward – hand out – there’s the post – grab it – walk around – toe safe – head safe – bladder relief!
It’s my pattern. My habit.
Something that’s become so familiar to me I do it without thinking, or even getting too woke up.
It’s just what I’m used to now. What I know. And what I’ve practiced.

There’s still nights I overshoot my target or veer too far to the right…
but it doesn’t happen nearly as often.
I know much better – from experience – the way to walk.

That’s what faith is like to me.

When things in life are unknown. unsure. beyond my reach or out of my control.
When there is that “darkness” that I can’t seem to find my way out of or understand or see things for how they clearly are…
that’s when I need and must reach for The One who is solid and steadfast. always the same. always there.
There’s no need to stumble in confusion and wring my hands wondering what’s the right way – He is the way!

And when I take hold of Him – - not just the things that sound like Him, but are often only merely the ideas and methods of man..
but truly HIM. His person. Who He is and what He desires with me and through me~
then. the weaving and veering through tough places becomes easier.
the needless pain of trying to make it on my own less occurring.
and my rest.. surprisingly undisturbed.  

“For I know Who I have believed in, and am persuaded that He is able….” 2 Timothy 1:12

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

 

amber.

{a kite. some cupcakes. and those darn pagan eggs!}

While on our date Friday night Shayne was telling me that the blogs he enjoys most are ones written in “bullet form.”
Short. Concise. Straight to the point. Easy to read.

“Oh…”

So. I attempted the bullet blog method with this post.
Honestly I did, babe!!!
But what can I say -
I.just. like. words.
and apparently, a lot of them.

 
And while having this conversation about enormously long blogs,
we were crushing and ripping and tearing apart our meal.
Literally.
We had crab legs.
Which neither of us had ever had before.
And I surprised myself by liking them!
I didn’t think I’d be big on the whole “work for your food thing….”
having to crack and dig to get every bite didn’t appeal to me.
But it was actually fun~
and not nearly as hard as all those other people I’ve watched across the restaurants through the years made it look!

I had lamb for the first time too, on Easter.
I’m not sure I’m a fan of that though.
There’s times when I can’t seem to get past the mental picture of what it is exactly I’m eating. :/
Quickly throwing this food lover into a instant vegan.
Even times eating a plain ole cheeseburger I suddenly look down and go, “this is a COW!”
eek!

We talked too about homeschooling.
Groan.
This just has never been an easy subject for me the entire 13 years of marriage.
I do it because my husband wants me to..
and because there hasn’t really been alot of other affordable options available.
I’m not sure the k12 we’re using is going to cut it for their high school years~
and as Kate is about to go into 7th grade {did i really just write that? seventh!!},
I know we need to decide which route we’re going.
so – - we’re back to where we’ve been a hundred times with this stuff.
Praying.
Planning.
Thinking.
Figuring.
Fighting.
Not so much that last one anymore.
Although there’s always some.
We both just have different perspectives on it.

Some times I wonder who came up with this whole homeschooling thing anyway? {kidding. but then, not}

I know God will give us wisdom.
As I’ve said before…
teaching will never be my thing.
but my kids are!
So I want to make sure I’m giving them the best I can.

    

Our Easter weekend was absolutely beautiful.
In every way.

    
     
Lots of special memories….
and eating chocolate and cupcakes and doughnuts and all kinds of other yummy sugary stuff.

How come things seem more fun when sugar is involved?

  

The kids loved these cupcakes…

The little bee is made from peanut m&m’s. tootsie rolls. and gum drops.
Super easy to make.

 

We dyed eggs too.
And painted them.
And poured glitter all over them.
and all over everything else in the kitchen along with them.

Things are still sparkling in there.

Someone told me a few weeks back that coloring eggs was pagan!
I had never really thought about it before.
But suddenly I was.
and then I found myself thinking maybe we shouldn’t do it.

The kids kept asking me about it…
and I kept putting them off.

Then, my Sunday School teacher told this story in class….
{not aware of my egg coloring hesitation}.

“There was a couple that moved into a new home.
When the wife’s friends came to visit her, one of them told her that her bedroom should be the first room she organized and decorated.

“It’ll show your husband your marriage is important to you.”

The woman felt awful.. because she had focused on the living room and kitchen and her bedroom was a disaster!

So, in the days that followed the wife jumped in and began trying to make their bedroom what it was “supposed to be.”
Taking the excess clutter from that room out into the other rooms already done.
One afternoon when her husband came home from work and saw all the boxes once again filling the living room he asked what she was doing…
When she explained that she was trying to get their room in order so that he would feel important and loved,
he looked at her and said…

“Where in the world did you get the idea from the I wouldn’t feel important if our room was messy?”

When she went on to tell him what her friend had said, he laughed.

“That is actually the furthest thing from what I want… I prefer the main living areas to be in order.
I could care less what the bedroom looks like. It’s where I sleep – and that’s mostly done in the dark!!”

The wife instantly saw that she had allowed someone else’s opinion to govern her home.. and her life!
It was not from God. Not based upon His Word. Nor directed from her husband. {her husband actually opposed it}
But she had ASSUMED since it sounded right and good it must be the “godly” thing to do. 

Sure, there’s nothing wrong with hearing others opinions and ideas.
We should and need to.
But we can’t just take it and run.
We have to make sure it’s what God has for us…

And when we seek His Word and the way where we should walk~ He will not only lead us..
but there will be rest and ease and peace in what He gives.

God’s ways are not burdensome but freeing.

And anytime we find more oppression than joy in trying to carry something out -
perhaps we need to stop and look at THE SOURCE who we have listened to.

Is it truly the Lord?
Or just man?

 

  

And I guess that’s a bit how I felt with the Easter eggs.

My only reason for hesitating to do them was because I was taking on someone else’s “rules.”
Which is absolutely fine for them {I’m not knocking conviction against decorating Easter eggs}…
if that is what they feel God has told them to do then by all means they need to do it.

But if He hasn’t given it to me then it’s not HIS conviction on my heart,
only my own fear of what others might think masked as some super spiritual sounding thing!

So I don’t need to throw my eggs in the closet when certain people come to visit.

When we know we’re listening and following the Holy Spirit there is freedom.
Genuine freedom for the believer is found in obedience.

Besides. The only reason I’ve ever really liked decorating eggs is because I happen to think they’re just really pretty!

It’s been great kite flying weather lately.

Kate is about my only child with the patience for it.
It’s kinda like fishing.. waiting for that perfect wind to come along.
But if you are patient. Oh, the fun when that thing sores up in the sky!

I don’t know what it is but I love kites.
They’re are right up there with bubbles and balloons and Hubba Bubba chewing gum.

Some things just kinda evoke that happy feeling in you.

We started the Dave Ramsey financial seminar here last night for our area…

I wasn’t exactly thrilled about going.
I thought Shayne could just go for the next 13 weeks, or whatever it is, and bring home the info.
{And that had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that I would miss American Idol every week!}

But I’m glad I went..
I can see that it’s going to make a difference, a whole whole lot of difference, to hear this stuff for myself.

The fact that’s he’s hilarious helps too!
Yet even his humor is packed with so much truth.

At one point he mentioned how that our whole culture seems to have ADD…
People talking on their cell phones as they put on their make up while driving with their knee!!

Apparently I’m not the only one.

But even in hearing this – realizing how easy it is to get caught up in all the craziness.
Everywhere you turn.. so.much.busyness.
It made me see the need to slow down.
To be making those deliberate choices that matter.
And not letting the important things get drowned in the urgent~

My immediate thought goes to my kids.

Maybe because they’re with me 24/7 and see the crazy flustered part of me that can flip out over the urgent,
and be so blinded to the obvious important right under my nose.

Like the other day..
I had lost my temper with Emma and snapped at her about something.
As she headed out the door to play I saw the remnants from lunch still on her face,

“Come here a second…” I said from the kitchen sink where I was washing dishes.

“Why?” she asked as she came over.
 
“I want to get that gunk off your face.”

As I started to wipe away the crusty few hour old ketschup,
she looked up at me and broke out into a huge smile…
saying in that sing songy little voice –

“And your saw-wee?”

My heart instantly softened and I felt like God splashed the cold water of “this is what’s important. this is where it’s at.” straight in my face.
So I knelt down and hugged her.

“Yeah. and I’m sorry.”

 
{thank you Cindy for this quote. I love-loved it}

Ya know, when it’s all said and done the Christian life isn’t too complicated.
It’s that listening and obeying part that seems to trip us up so often.

This morning I read:

“Be merciful to me, O Lord. for I cry unto you daily.
For you Lord are good, and ready to forgive;
never ending in mercy to all those who call unto you…
Teach me your way and I will walk in your truth.
You are a God full of compassion,
gracious, longsuffering, and over abundant in mercy and truth.” Psalm 86

So glad for that daily abundance of mercy.compassion. and graciousness.

I use my fill {and then some} that’s for sure!

 

amber.

{Happy Easter}


  

 

“With one sacrifice he made perfect forever those who are being made holy.”  Hebrews 10:14

{Sometimes it’s hard to be a Woman…}

Last week what I thought was a slight touch of the stomach flu…
turned out to be a urinary tract infection…
which turned out to actually not be one…
but some kind of “abnormal bacteria” that masks itself with the same symptoms…
which I guess I’ll continue to have on and off throughout pregnancy…
which isn’t dangerous to me, but is to baby if they don’t catch it in time..
which now they have…
so I’ll be treated right before delivery for it and all should be fine!

But jumping back a bit for a moment~
while still taking the prescription for what they thought was the UTI over the weekend I kept feeling increasingly worse instead of better.
Which if anything this experience has further taught me when it comes to being sick~ listen to your instincts!
By late Monday night when I began to have some profuse bleeding {which scared me to death}…
and the doctor said it was either the infection moving to my kidney’s or a reaction to the medicine {which turned out to be the latter}…
He told me to get into my midwives the next day as soon as possible.
And of course that night – my mind, and heart were racing!

Before going to bed I felt prompted to go on facebook and ask for prayer,
where I knew family and friends would see it, and care and pray…
but I hesitated.
I’ll be honest. I was a bit embarrassed to ask for prayer…
I could envision the eyes rolling like, “what’s up with this girl now? it’s just one thing after another with her!”
Feeling somehow that I was being dramatic or whiny and complaining.
Not wanting to come across as one of those “energy drainer” kind of people.

And really.
bottom line.
what it is…
I just don’t like being weak.
Admitting I need others.
I need help.
I can’t do it alone.

But there it is.
And that’s just it.

I am weak.
I do need others.
I need help.
and no. I can’t always {ever} do it on my own.

Yes. God is our “Satisfier” and provides all we need…
but people are one of His favorite channels to use to do just that!

We need the Aaron’s in our lives to come lift our hands when we don’t feel the strength to do it ourselves.
Praise God for those kind of people!!!

So. I stuck my little status thingy up.
“Needing prayer.. for healing. rest. and peace.”

Sure the enemy came in and wanted to trip me up with what some might think of my vulnerableness or “neediness”..
but I’ll tell you this —
I slept better that night than I had in more than a week!
Solid. Uninterrupted by having to go the bathroom a million times. and peaceful.
And woke up feeling so much better… which I knew….
I knew was something much deeper than just getting a good night’s rest!!

God has confirmed to me over and over especially through this pregnancy that prayer is not only powerful… but needed.
And not just for us. for others. for the whole body of Christ. to help unite our hearts in one common goal before the throne of grace.
But how can others pray if they don’t know? If we’re too proud or embarrassed or whatever to open our mouths and ASK.
As one friend said to me, “I WANT to pray for you.. I can’t always do other things. But hey, I can pray.”

So I’m grateful~ not only for the healing God has brought to my body the last few days, but for that special reminder…
we.are.not.alone.
And weren’t intended to be!

A special thanks to those “Aaron’s” in my life this past weekend…
Anna. Mike. Susie. Mom {who never ceases to amaze me with her servants heart}. and of course, Shayne {who just never ceases to amaze me}

  

  

Yesterday was our first warm day after a spell of some cold rains..
so the kids and I headed outside.
I’m still feeling a bit weak, but loved laying on the blanket soaking up the sunshine…
and then venturing around a nearby little pond, spotting turtles and finding grapevines to swing on!

 
(pointing out the turtles)

Seeing this sign reminds me of something Ben said to me last week~

“Mom, how come people only want to save the cute animals?”

“What do you mean, bud?”

“Well..  people talk about the poor dolphins getting caught in the tuna traps… “

“Yeah.. “

“Well what about the poor TUNA!!!”

good point.

   

I’m one of those people that has absolutely no sales resistance.
If your child is a girl scout send her to my house and I will buy one of every box of cookies…
possibly two.

So several weeks back.. at the beginning of this pregnancy when I was having to sit alot and take it easy,
I was watching more tv than normal.
And I don’t know what it is but I get so sucked into those infomercial things!
{I guess it’s the lack of sales resistance thing}

I’d seen this one several times for a hair product and since it was on a day where my hair looked especially crappy,
and I happened to have a bit of birthday money left.. I decided to give it a try.

It took a month to get to me.
Which I wasn’t happy about.

But now that I’ve got it I’ve forgotten all that.

I think I really like it.

It’s supposed to be some kind of revolutionary organic stuff that doesn’t strip your hair of it’s natural oils.
Shayne says it’s probably just Suave that’s in a fancy bottle and it’s all psychological!
Maybe.
But I like the psychological way it’s making my hair look!!

and I don’t think I would have enjoyed that juicer or 100 piece set of tupperware I almost bought instead nearly as much!!

I also love this new stuff I bought.

I like a powder with a bit of a shine.
I think it helps makes you look less pasty and just.. brighter!

Besides. I happen to think it’s really pretty.

Another psychological thing I’m sure. :p

And.

I have never ever ever been one to recommend a sunless tanning anything…
trust me. I had tried them all.. and no matter what they promise,
I would still end up looking like I was rusting at the joints!

But a few weeks ago when I was desperate to wear some of my cute spring skirts,
but not liking the blinding white of my legs sticking out the bottom …
I found myself re visiting those jars and bottles once again that had been taboo. :/

I actually found this one where the nail supply stuff is in Target!
And I really think it works.
seriously.

I put lotion on my legs and arms first before applying it…
then spray some in my hands and rub it on.
It doesn’t seem to have that giveaway orange look of most sunless tanners ~
or that weird smell. what is with that?
But still – as basic rule for any sunless tanners – use with caution.
just sayin.
It does seem to wash off easy with soap and water.
No heavy chemicals or metals brushes required!
  

What’s some of your all time favorite “girly” products you love?

I heard this song the other day, and it always makes me smile..
it’s a favorite of mine and I found this youtube version that cracks me up.
Check out the hair! How did they even get it to do that?
And we thought music videos hadn’t been around that long! 

Sure. Sometimes it’s hard to be a woman.
but most of the time, ya gotta admit…
it’s all rather FUN!!!

Hope you’re enJOYing the day~

amber.  

{a little beach in a bottle}

I’m not an artist. I’m more of a doodler.
Even my stick men somehow turn out looking deformed.

But for some reason all my kids have this huge love for art.

 

So recently I bought a role of butcher paper to cover the kitchen table with…
found a wooden basket at Hobby Lobby for half off..
some cute little buckets in the dollar aisle at Target…
and set up a permanent place for them to be able to color and create.

At first I wasn’t sure if the “new look” was just going to be cluttered and messy.
But actually I’m really liking it – It’s Fun. Bright. and Springy!!

And even I’m enjoying doodling there from time to time.

 
Pretty flowers and sweet treats add to the fun.. 

  

= = ~ = = ~ = =

Not long ago while walking in the woods, Emma found a little bottle…
she started carrying that thing everywhere.
Putting anything and everything inside.

One afternoon last week she came to me and asked,

“Tan we doe det sum beach ta put in dis?” 

Her crazy ideas and impulsiveness is something I identify with.

So since the older kids were still working on school and Shayne was home early to stay with them…
just Little Bits and I set out to “det sum beach” 15 minutes or so up the road at the lake.

It was a little chilly… but the sun would pop out from behind a cloud from time to time making it pleasant.

We dug a bunch of big holes and filled them with water…
buried each others feet in the sand…
chased the seagulls…
twirled until we were too dizzy to stand up..
and huddle down close together when a gust of wind would whip up and give us goose bumps.

When my energy began to run out and hers had still a long ways to go yet,
I sat on the cool sand and watched. and smiled. and laughed. and marveled at my girl.
Her enthusiasm and spirit and sweetness.

 

And every now and then she’d come and sit beside me…
with arms wrapped around her legs that were drawn up tight to her chest.
And we’d talk.
Just the two of us.
All alone there.
About all kinds of things.
About whatever we wanted.  

I think this past year especially I’ve so realized the key importance of communication in parenting…
And that it’s about much much more than words.
It’s listening…
Knowing when that’s all that’s needed…
Knowing when we need to say something..
Learning that what we say isn’t nearly as important as what we’re living… 
which is what our kids will believe far more than what’s coming out our mouths.

Shayne was telling me just earlier today that statistics show that only 30% of our communication is based on words!

 

  
 

Later that day as Emma and I drove home I kept glancing back in the mirror at my bright pink cheeked, rumpled hair little girl..
who was now very quiet. and very tired.

I thought of future days to come…
of talking and sharing and communicating.
When things would be a little more serious than how clouds stay in the sky and why purple is the best color ever!
And I found myself whispering a prayer that she would always know… that all my kids would…
and above anything, truly feel that there is that open invitation – the ease and freedom to come plop beside mom and just.talk.

 

I came across this verse in my Bible yesterday and even though it was all underlined with notes jotted beside it..
I still had kinda “forgotten” about it.

But I love it. And so feel it echoes my number one desire to see fulfilled in my kids lives~

“That you would love the Lord your God, and obey His voice.
And that you would hold to Him alone: for He is your life… ” Deaut. 30:20

I want to write it out on something and hang it up somewhere in the house so that I won’t forget it again.    

amber.

{If we had no winter.. spring would not be so pleasant}

 

“I think the day the Lord created hope was probably the same day he created Spring.”

“But. Still. There are the smells. Deep, earthy, living smells of promising spring.
Who cares that the smell comes from the thawing earth and thickening mud!
As though the world was taken out of the freezer like a giant chunk of frozen meat…
and plopped on the kitchen counter to thaw,
life slowly and nervously begins to soften, relax, and seep out.

Thank heaven for the smell of muddy spring. Hope, it seems, can come in many forms–even smelly ones.”

 

“If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.”

 

 

HapPy FirSt dAy oF SpRinG!! {as my kids kept reminding me all day yesterday was today!}